Thursday, May 18, 2006

Top Chef Finals

If you haven't been watching Bravo's Top Chef, you've missed out on an incredibly exciting show, and you've lost a big hunk of gay street cred.
The final episode is next Wednesday night- you still have time to savor the final droplets.

The second to the last episode was last night.
Well, of course they kept Tiffany because she is a great cook, plus she's a redheaded bitchy diva butch lesbian, and that kind of dramatic combo in one person runs few and far between on TV.
Harold also is a great cook, plus he's handsome and proud, but humble. Best of all, we kind of know he's gay but he's avoided confirming it so we have that element of nagging curiosity.
He looks straight because he totally lacks even the slightest twinge of swishiness...yet he's got that je nais sais quoi that just stage whispers 'hot gay man.'
Eliminated Dave, the Richard Simmons-meets-Paul Lynde of the group had to go. He's just too frantic in the kitchen and he forgets things --like preparing the third item on the menu for the Cirque de Soleil acrobats to judge.
I think Harold will win, but I think Tiffany will be offered a guest chef role on The L Word, develop an Etheridge-esque lesbian following, then find her place in the world as the Top Chef for Olivia Cruises.
Harold will take the $100,000 winnings, open a wildly successful restaurant in Manhattan and become a multimillionaire very quickly. Once he's made his first $10 million, he'll finally mention Arthur, his long-term partner who abhors the spotlight and prefers to tend to his orchids and read important books.


Lulu Maude said...

Now, now... lose the peer pressure angle, Zippy.

Of course, my street cred's been gone since I took to it with a cane.

dusty said...

100K wont do much in the restaurant biz.. but I love your writeup.

Holly in Cincinnati said...

I don't get this channel but I enjoy your review.

Karen Zipdrive said...

LuLu, your street cred was established with me back in 1975 when you were the first person I ever saw wearing Birkenstocks.
That you refuse to watch TV only reinforces your lesbian crone image.