Friday, September 16, 2005

Survivor Guatemala- the Zipdrive Lowdown

The Yaxha Tribe - Turquoise/Blue Buffs
Who's Who:

Amy 39, police detective from Revere, Mass. Married. Scorpio.
Brian 22, grad student Columbia, NYC. Single. Aquarius. Weird eyes.
Brianna 21, make-up pest at department store, Edmonds, WA. Single. Scorpio.
Gary Hogeboom 46, Ex NFL quarterback. Married, 3 kids, Leo/Virgo cusp. Bossy.
Jamie 39, water ski instructor, North Hollywood, CA. Wannabe actor. Aquarius.
Lydia 42, fishmonger, Lakewood, WA. Divorced, one kid. Capricorn. Slow runner.
Morgan 21, magician's asst. Decatur, IL. Lives with boyfriend. Sagittarius. Sorority blonde.
Rafe 22, student, Brown U. Providence, RI. Mormon. Goofy. Lives with parents. Capricorn.
Steph- delicious woman from Survivor 10- still hot, gorgeous, do-able & stronger than anyone.

Nakum Tribe - Yellow Buffs
Who's Who:

Blake 24, model, real estate, Dallas. NASCAR and hunting fan. Taurus. Can't handle long hikes- gets stickers in his shoulder.
Brandon 22, farmer. Kansas. Aquarius. Good old boy. Dumb but strong, unless he's hiking.
Brooke 26, Pepperdine law degree, from Oregon. Single. Leo. Might be sneaky.
Cindy 31, zookeeper, Naples FL. Single, Cancer, sexy eyes, great shoulders.
Danni 30, sports radio host, Kansas. Sexpot. Cancer. Maneater, sports nut.
x Jim 63, retired fireman, CO. Voted out due to total geezerliness during first hike. Buh bye.
Judd 34, NYC doorman from Jersey. Yo, what da fuck? Wife, kid, Virgo. Big galoot. Pukes a lot.
Margaret 43, nurse practitioner, Ohio. Husband and 2 kids. Gemini. Had to help all the puking men.
BobbyJon. He's back from Survivor 10! Hard worker, unless he's puking with his eyes rolled back in his head. Big dumb butch.

Guatemala is Latin for "Hell on Earth."
Jeff Probst opens the show with blah blah blah Mayan facts about the area. The area is a jungle filled with crocodiles, snakes and animals who kill, maim and eat humans. The heat and humidity make this the most nauseating Survivor locale yet.

The search for the two tribe's camps involved an 11 mile trek through the jungle. The tribes don't make it before nightfall and camp all night in middle of the jungle. I got bug bites just watching the miserable trek.

Day 2. Yaxha finds Nakum on the trail and both tribes break out onto the trail and try to outrace each other. Hard to do with all that dehydration, puking and limping.
Nakum's Bobby Jon cramps up, gets cold and clammy and holds up the group.
Blake hits a sticker tree and it sticks into his left shoulder, causing time consuming agony.
Margaret the nurse rescues all the men who are losing it.

Nakum finds their boat and uses it to go to the finish line.
Jeff gives Nakum the tribe flag and flint and tells them they have earned the better of the two camps. Yaxha shows up almost immediately and Jeff gives the Yaxha tribe a map and tells them to get back into their boat and head to their camp.
Stephanie said the 11-mile trek to the finish line, only to have to get back in their boat and find their camp was the biggest bitch of a challenge, ever.

As Yaxha leaves to find their camp across the lake, they find pots to cook in and decide how to build their shelter. Stephanie is psyched to find herself on a tribe that has heart and determination. They work well together to put up a shelter, considering everyone was already beat to hell by the hike.
Meanwhile, back at the "better camp," Blake, Judd and Bobby Jon are puking like they spent the night in a Tijuana bar. Bobby Jon's eyes are rolling back in his head and he's calling for Jesus.

The tribes come to their first challenge with most of the male members weak as kittens.
The challenge was based on the methods the Mayans used to transport materials to build their pyramids. They had to use logs to roll a big boat onto land and almost everyone got creamed by a log in some way or another.
Nakum lost. This was the first time ever that Stephanie didn't have to attend a tribal council.
The old guy from Nakim, Jim, ripped his biceps muscle grabbing a log. He was booted and nearly taken away on a stretcher, he was so beat up by the hike and the challenge.

Women are ruling this series. Yay, women!

So- who are your early favorites?


Mike said...

didn't the old coot that got voted out, vote for the nurse? she's the only one keepin' those guys alive - literally...

frankly - it's too early to look for favorites - so i mainly was trying to pick out the cutest ones...

Karen Zipdrive said...

That would be Stephanie, Mike. Trust me on this.

Mike said...

maybe - but one of them, cindy perhaps, turned my head...

Karen Zipdrive said...

We can all agree, however, that the old guy was definitely not eye candy.
Lots of the guys are handsome but they sure puke a lot.

CLD said...

Stephenie rules!! I can't believe the old geezer actually voted for the nurse. God forbid he vote one of the girlie men off, who were puking everywhere. Good riddance.

V said...

Well . . . so much for a woman's cultural-polit blog. SURVIVOR?

Get a serious grip on things.

Kate said...

You probably won't see this comment, Karen, but I had to thank you for this update. As usual, waiting all summer to see this opening show, I got in 10 mins. after it started, the show just started getting good when the power went off -- for 40 minutes. I saw 20 minutes, including commercials. If it weren't for your posts, I'd never know what was going on.

I hope Stephanie makes it to the end, she's the Rupert of second chances. And good thinking on the part of the producers, bringing in some experienced members because this one looks like it's going to be a real bitch to the end.