Thursday, September 29, 2005

What's With All the GOP Dry Drunks?

I heard on NPR an interview with a Tom DeLay biographer and personal friend of the indicted former exterminator.
Seems DeLay was raised by an alcoholic father and abused mother, then turned out to have a pretty severe alcoholism problem himself- until he found Jesus in his 30's.

So, like Bush in the White House, we had another dry drunk (aka: untreated alcoholic) running things in Congress.

Seems like, in order to hold a major spot in Republican politics, one needs to be either a dry drunk, a relapsed drunk or a closeted homosexual.
All three conditions make for a lot of hidden rage, secrecy and control issues.

Everyone has heard of or seen the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous- but here are the 12 steps for a typical dry drunk. See if they remind you of anyone in public office.

1. I decided I could handle any emotional problem if other people would just quit trying to run my life.
2. I firmly believe that there is no greater power than myself and anyone who says differently is insane.
3. I made a decision to remove my will and my life from God, who didn’t understand me anyway.
4. I made a searching and thorough moral inventory of everyone I know, so they couldn’t fool me and take advantage of my good nature.
5. I sought these people out and tried to get them to admit to me, by God, the exact nature of their wrongs.
6. I became willing to help these people to get rid of their defects of character.
7. I was humble enough to ask these people to remove their shortcomings.
8. I kept a list of all the people who had harmed me and waited patiently for a chance to get even with them.
9. I got even with these people whenever possible except when to do so would get me in trouble.
10. I continued to take everyone’s inventory and when they were wrong, which is most of the time, I promptly made them admit it.
11. Sought through the concentration of my will power to get God, who didn’t understand me anyway, to see that my ideas were best and he ought to give me the power to carry them out.
12. Having maintained my emotional problems, as a result of these steps, I recommend them to others who want to lose their hard earned status and wish to be left alone to practice neurosis in everything they do for the rest of their lives.


Holly in Cincinnati said...

Thanks Karen! Always worth a repeat!

dusty said...

not to get off topic but...AH-NOLD veto'd the civil marriage bill today..bastard.

Gee i think your list covers most of the Repubs in office and/or high Rove one of these? he fits the bill...

Karen Zipdrive said...

Gee, I don't know.
Do his rosacea cheeks, bright red nose and jowly face look like a tippler to you?
I think most of this crowd acts like drunks- and with their unconscionable actions, they probably need to drink just to be able to live with themselves.

JimBob said...

We should circulate a petition to get all the Repubes to attend mandatory 12-step meetings.

Then while they're out, vote in human beings to replace them in office.

larkohio said...

Funny post, ironic, but it is probably true.

Karen Zipdrive said...

JimBob, either that or start having open Al-Anon meetings on C-SPAN four or five times a day.

Lulu Maude said...

Alcohol--the LEGAL drug! And bidness!

jenniestar said...


Karen Zipdrive said...

Not sure what Blogspot comments did with the delete buttons, but as soon as they are restored, 'ts' is gonna stand for Ta-ta, Shithead.

The Educated Eclectic said...

Ha ha - you must be getting real popular if you are getting spam in your comment thread!


Karen Zipdrive said...

Yeah, I feel so honored to earn accolades from someone clever enough to make spamming a profession.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I heard on NPR that DeLay was an alcoholic but he found Jesus in his 30's, then became an untreated dry drunk.
I see a pattern here.