Saturday, December 20, 2008

A Holiday Tribute to All My Jewey Friends



My New Hanukkah Song
(to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Dashing through the mall
Shiksas wall to wall
Wish these bitches would go home
I need some space, y'all

Oh! Hanukkah, Chanukkah, Hannu-freaking Cah
Wish someone would find one way
To spell it, tra la la


Cooking brisket now
Latkes bubblin'--wow
Soon all of the family
Will show up for some chow

Oh! Hanukkah, Chanukkah, Hannu-freaking Cah
Wish someone would find one way
To spell it, tra la la

Dreidel spinning fun
Peanuts to be won
Lighting the menorah next
And then our fun is done

Oh! Hanukkah, Chanukkah, Hannu-freaking Cah
Wish someone would find one way
To spell it, tra la la

Flicks and Chinese food
Goyim think we're rude
But we get to skip all the
Meshuggah Christmas 'tude

Oh! Hanukkah, Chanukkah, Hannu-freaking Cah
Wish someone would find one way
To spell it, tra la la

Hanukkah, Chanukkah, Hannu-freaking Cah
We skip all the craziness
You Christians have, ha ha!

9 comments:

DCup said...

I'm only in the tribe because I married into it, but thank you.

Now I've got to go see if we've got enough oil for latkes and candles for the Menorah! We never have enough candles.

Utah Savage said...

Oh now I can't get the song out of my head, but it's a great version of tralala, or whatever the original is. I'm of the pagan tribe, but hope you have a lovely Hark hear the bells, tra la la la. Mumm the brisket sounds great. Mummm Latkes. Maybe I'm not so pagan after all. Won't a jewish family adopt me?

nonnie9999 said...

oy! vas dot funny! karen, bubbeleh, you should live and be well. thanks for the song. now, sit down and have a little nosh.

KarenZipberg said...

Oh, I had such a nosh earlier. But now I'm tired and I shall sit here in the dark wishing my loins had not been barren and that my nephews had become doctors.

nonnie9999 said...

bubbeleh, here is a texas/jewish (just like us!!) joke to get your mind off your troubles:

A Texan and a Jew are sitting next to each other on a plane.
They get to talking. The Texan asks the Jew if he owns property.

J: "Yeah, I got property"
T: "Well.... how big is your property?"
J: "In front, maybe 100 feet, and in back, a good 120 feet"
T: "100 feet!!!! On my ranch in Texas, I can get in my car at 9 in the
morning, drive all day, and, at 5 oclock I will still be on my property"
J: "Oy! I had a car like that once!"

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Oy, what a song.

Karen Zipdrive said...

You were expecting maybe Lerner and Lowe?

And Nonnie, interesting thing, did you know that it's considered rude to ask a Texas rancher how big his or her ranch is?
It's the same as asking someone how much they make or if they cheat on their spouse.
And believe me, some ranchers can drive all day and still not cover all their acreage.
Texas is huge!

Mauigirl said...

This was great, especially the part about them finding one way to spell it. I always have a split personality between the Ch and the H.

Dusty said...

Golf clap!!!!!!!