Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Texas Hill Country: Crawling with Mini Horse Farms

Egads, thank God my regular digital camera is too big to lug around.
On a whim this morning, I decided to hit the road and travel to my brother's lake house outside of Marble Fall, TX.
The drive is nice, with lots of hills, winding roads and new wildflowers starting to dot the meridian. But the best part is, there are at least three fairly large mini-horse farms along the way.
If I had a nifty little camera, I know I would have caused an accident trying to shoot pics of those fat little horsey bastards, eating their lunch close to the highway. They feed them close to the highway to drum up business.
I am 5'8" and a typical mini horse comes up to the top of my inseam.
They are often a little grouchy and too cute to smack after they try to nip your hand as you hold out a little apple or carrot.
But a herd of them from a distance is just about as cute as it gets. They think they are regular steeds, and they bicker with each other and gallop and rear up like they own the joint.
Even cuter are mini donkeys, because their fur sticks straight up and they look like 1980's punk rockers. They're a lot friendlier, too. Mini horse ranchers always throw in a few mini donkeys to teach the horses a little equine etiquette.
One night, I might get real drunk on tequila shots and drive to one of those ranches and kidnap me a tiny horse. I'll put him in my backyard and feed him tiny bales of hay and spring water.
And I'll put a dog leash on him, put a little straw hat on him and walk him around the neighborhood, with my new little camera in my pocket so I can take pics of him posing with the neighbor kids for $1 each.


Lulu Maude said...

Ah! Another possible start-up bidness!

A couple of my students at Woodstock raised these little critters. Way cute.

nonnie9999 said...

when you get the little horsie, and you are walking him around the neighborhood, see if you can teach him how to bark. if not, maybe you can play a tape recording. the neighbors will go nuts trying to figure out what breed of dog he is.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Nonnie, What kid would pay a dollar to get his picture taken next to a dog wearing a hat?

kirby said...

They might be pint sized, but I'll bet they crap as much as a full sized horse.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Nah, their lil' horse apples are anus appropriate.

Lisa said...

So that's your new business? I've been dying to know the secret. You're definitely on to something. Parents can be starving, but they'll dig deep to find a little cash for a pony ride and picture.

Please tell me you're not planning to wear a little matching hat. It would be too precious. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Are these animals legal in San Antonio residential areas? I seem to recall chickens are legal, up to five of them.

HelenWheels said...

Cuteness overload, to be sure. My friend from Galway's sister has a mini horse farm near there in Ireland. I get regular pics. They make me grind my teeth.