Friday, March 27, 2009

You're Gonna Love My Nuts
Shamwow/Slapchop Creep Busted

Vince Shlomi, spokes-creep for Shamwow and Slapchop has been busted for punching out a hooker who bit his tongue and wouldn't let it go.
She was probably biting his tongue to shut him the hell up so she could service his dumb ass and hit the road.
Shlomi, who's name sounds a lot like Shlomo, paid the woman $930 in twenties for a round of straight sex, with no frills.
Now, forgive me if I am out of the hooker and john loop, but for $930 doesn't one get all sorts of gross hooker extras?
If I was shelling out just shy of a grand for sex, she'd have to look like Heidi Klum and be able to lick the paint off a wall.
Just sayin'.


nonnie9999 said...

i guess he'll lose his federal sales job now, huh?

Dusty said...

Oh no shit...thats a lot of moolah for straight sex.

I like your idea of the perfect hooker too. ;p

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I'd pay triple that just to cop a feel of Heidi Klum's buns and maybe one boob.

bigsis said...

Little Schlomi must be deformed or particularly creepy in some way that he feels he has to pay extra like that.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Nonnie, you are too much.
Shlomi the money!

Katie Schwartz said...

ahhhhhhhhhh, you're too much. He is so fucking annoying. Every time I see his Shamwow and Slapchop mershials, I want to poke his eyes out.

PS: loved your last sentence, "she'd have Heidi Klum and lick the pain off the walls."


HelenWheels said...

Why do these freaks always turn out to be actual freaks? I figure they are just actors but... sadly, no.

Shlomi!! Who names their kid SHLOMI??

LOL@Heidi Klum.

Distributorcap said...

$930 -- i wonder what the extra $70 gets you

i want the chopper and graty

Lulu Maude said...

Who's Heidi Klum?

Thank God for Google.