Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Another Cheating Republican Bastard

Here's what South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford had to say after his unexplained absence:

"I've been unfaithful to my wife and I've developed a relationship with what started as a dear, dear friend from Argentina," he finally said. The affair has been going on for a year, he later explained.

Sanford announced that he is resigning as head of the Republican Governors Association.

"I spent the past five days of my life crying in Argentina," he said, "so I could come back and cry here."

Okay, did anyone besides me notice that he did not mention the gender of his dear, dear friend with whom he's fucking?
***UPDATE*** It's a woman named Maria. Sanford just failed to mention gender at first, causing me to presume that it was another GOP Foley/Craig deal.

The plot thickens.
Scratch off one more Republican who was eyeing a run for the White House.

I may have to become a conservative Jesus freak. They sure seem to get a lot of sexy time!


Karen Zipdrive said...

Okay, apparently it was a woman he was fucking--a foreign woman!
Sanford was one of those family values assholes who was demanding Clinton resign after the Lewinsky scandal broke.
Now he's resigned from the GOP Governor's whatever, but not from the governorship.
A pundit on MSNBC said the GOP should use all these zipper problems as a recruiting tool for young men: "Join the GOP for all the sex you can handle!"

Karen Zipdrive said...

Looks like Sanford used state money to fly to Argentina to get his wick dipped.
Goodbye, Statehouse, hello Big House!
What a fucking fuck-up this fucker is. Adios, MoFo.

bigsis said...

They should toss his cheating ass out of office before his term ends, same as he recommended for Clinton.

He said he's known this woman for 8 years but the affair just started up a year ago. HUWUUT? How fucking stupid does he think we are? Can't wait for the juicy details on this one.

Karen Zipdrive said...

He said he's known her 8 years and just started the affair a year ago?
I know all of us wait 8 years before bedding down someone new.

bigsis said...

Haley Barbour? Isn't he that fat fuck with the preacher hairdo? You know he must have some serious baggage. He didn't graduate from college but after helping with Nixon's campaign he miraculously managed to be accepted, and finish, law school.

Chris Mathews is trying to discuss the matter rationally but his face looks like he smells a fart. Priceless.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Ed Schultz couldn't even keep a straight face when he was discussing Governor Wigglypants.

bigsis said...

Haley Barbour. Fat fuck with white preacher hair? Yeah, I see big trouble from this guy. For example, he didn't graduate from college but after helping the Nixon campaign he was miraculously accepted, and graduated from, law school.

Chris Mathews is trying to be rational in his reporting of the Sanford fiasco but his face looks like he smells a fart.

nonnie9999 said...

john ensign is creaming in his jeans, he's so happy to be off the front pages!

Karen Zipdrive said...

Oh, I think Ensign is sending Gov. Wigglyweiner a big box of thank you Trojans about now.
Jeeze, these conservative Bible thumpers, it's either killing someone or fucking someone every fucking week.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Some good Twitter comments:

pourmecoffee: "I don't think it's good that a main takeaway of Sanford's press conference is how really awesome his mistress is."

Bagyants: "Sanford turned down one stimulus, accepted another. Flip flopper!

TeresaKopec: So instead of walking the trail, he was chasing some tail."

akubhai: "Ensign and Sanford both admit affairs. Any other GOP want to confess?"

pandagon: "The next Republican to have an affair will have to outdo Sanford. I predict a tryst ON THE MOON."

GregMitch: "One day after Obama's "gotcha" press conf we got Sanford's "gaucho" press conf."

martinboz: "Somehow I doubt Argentinian tourist bureaus are going to use Sanford as a selling point when promoting themselves as a vacation spot."

JayRodriguez: "Oh my God - The Gov. Sanford story was SOOOOOOOO much better than I thought it'd be. I was expecting a pain killer addiction, tops."

michaeljhix: "Revelations of Sanford's South American love fling brings new meaning to S.C. first lady's comment this week: "He does this sometimes."

javaonline: "Do you understand the fuss now? Lol This is a very disappointing week first jon and kate now gov sanford :( "

Spinelli666: "At least Sanford proves that not all gop members hate all foreigners"

waitwait: "Anyone else feel let down when Sanford finally used the pronoun "she" to describe affair partner? me: *raises hand*"

maxsparber: "None of us are in a position to judge Sanford until we too have had sex with a woman in Argentina. Now who is up for a road trip?"

alanpdx: "The reason the gop is so upset with sanford is that he outsourced his hookers to a South American country."

David_in_Austin: "Sanford outsourcing affair. What a slap to the face of American homewreckers"

flywithelphaba: "Ah-ha! Not surprised at missing SC gov's escapades. Note to Sanford: South America is NOT a good place to hide! Remember Mengele?"

johnmoe: "I was most surprised when Sanford apologized for calling his son Lamont a "dummy" all those years."

bridoc: But its teh gayz that will ruin marriage!

Lulu Maude said...

dear, dear!

Karen Zipdrive said...

I loved seeing clips of his judgmental tirades against other politicians with sex scandals.
Looks like the only politicians without problems with their wandering dicks are the women.

Fran said...

Cue Madonna singing:

Don"t cry for me Argentiiiiiiiiiiiiinaaaaa

The GOP is the #1 big tent circus.
Nice move on Father's day, asshole.
Boo fricking Hoo!

Iain said...

"What a fucking fuck-up this fucker is. Adios, MoFo"..."Sanford turned down one stimulus, accepted another. Flip flopper!"

Long live the GOP and the internet!...More, more more!!

dguzman said...

Brilliant shit! Go, interwebs!

Dusty said...

Love this one:

So instead of walking the trail, he was chasing some tail."