Friday, June 05, 2009

Reluctant Adulthood Beckons Once Again

I'm getting a new stove this weekend, so I decided to list my old stove and a spare refrigerator I have on Craig's List.
Thinking nobody really responds to ads on CL, I was shocked to start receiving e-mail within moments of posting my ad.
The first response was from a man whose language skills were less than par. He wanted to come over last night to look at the appliances, and it was after 11.
Of course I said no.
So off to bed I went, wondering if the man would arrive this morning and kill me, a la assorted hookers who got offed by Craig's Listers.
I tossed and turned all night, worried that he and a cro-magnon buddy would arrive wearing greasy wife beaters with a lot of back hair showing. I wondered which pair of pants I had that could conceal a knife. I came up with a story I'd tell them-- that my husband, a night-shift cop, was sleeping in the next room so they had to be quiet.
The call came at 9 this morning, and all my fretting was for nought.
The voice was that of a young college boy who's moving into his first apartment. He's attending my alma mater and majoring in Public Relations, of all things. All of his professors are among my favorite drinking buddies.
Judging by his timidity, I'm pretty sure I could kick his ass if I had to.
He said he's borrowing his brother's truck and dolly. I asked if he was bringing anyone to help and he said no at first, then I urged him to try to bring someone because I absolutely hate assisting in moving things, especially heavy appliances.
So now that I am reasonably assured that he's not a rapist/murderer, I'll return to the point of this post.
I hate having to be an adult and deal with issues like selling used appliances and having new ones delivered and installed. That's husband, boyfriend or really butch girlfriend work.
Maybe I need to cultivate a short-term relationship with a Ms. or Mr. Fix-It. I can make them festive meals while they paint and restore and renovate and clean up the yard. Then after they detail my car, we can eat while we watch TV.
I can do that with the best of them.


Fran said...

Yea a midnight appliance appointment did not take rocket science detective work to determine it was not happening. That or answer the door with a high powered assault rifle strapped over your shoulder!

You might want to reconsider the Fix it relationship.... why not make it long term??? Maybe even talk while you eat???

Karen Zipdrive said...

Long term?
Hmm, I never thought of that.

JimBob said...

Used to have an Army buddy who was a car fix-it guru. All he requested was a 12-pack and for me to get the hell out of the way.

And since my own car-fixin-it skills are close to nonexistant, you can bet I invested heavily in 12 packs back in the day.

My $0.02: if yer lookin' at a long-term with a fix-it type, make sure they can fix LOTS o' things. Cuz if your fix-it significant other can only fix appliances, then next time the car goes on the fritz, you might have to be steppin' out.

Just sayin

Utah Savage said...

I'm desperate for the same kind of relationship. I need a man with a chainsaw and a strong back. What do I have to bring to the table? Nothing but a bad attitude.

nonnie9999 said...

when you find ms fix-it, would you find out if she has a brother?

Karen Zipdrive said...

Nonnie, will do.
So, the college kid flaked out on me, but fortunately I had a lot of people asking about the appliances. I ended up selling them in only an hour to a nice young woman and her boyfriend.

nonnie9999 said...

glad you got it sold. i should have sold my dryer. it was the washer that was broken, but i figured i'd get a new set since they were both over 25 years old. i never know what to do with old stuff. i usually just tell my son to ask his friends if they need it, put it by the curb and hope that someone gets it before the garbagemen take it away, or let the delivery guys who bring new stuff take the old. i never know how much to ask for anything, and i hate the thought of strangers coming here to look at stuff.

Lulu Maude said...

after they detail my car, we can eat while we watch TV LOL!

the trouble with having a really butch girlfriend to do things is then you're stuck with a really butch girlfriend.

ah, well.