Autoneurosis

Years ago in Mexico, Chevrolet tried to introduce the Chevy Nova to the Mexican car buying public. They wondered why nobody would buy this popular brand of compact car, until a Mexican marketing firm explained to them that in Spanish no va meant "it doesn't go."
On Sunday my car battery was apparently dead. No va.
On Monday, Paul my mechanic, rescued my car from the driveway and hauled it to his garage to fix.
I told him to do all the routine maintenance it would need for the year, belts, hoses fluids, brakes, tune up, whatever it needed. It was running fine, it just had a dead battery, was a tad sluggish and had a teeny-tiny oil leak.
Paul called today and said everything was diagnosed and they were ready to begin.
So I said, "How much is this gonna run me, Paul?"
Paul said, "Well, it wasn't the battery, it was the alternator. That's gonna cost ya. And you need a major tune up, so that'll be another hunnerd or so. The oil leak was a gasket, so we're gonna go 'head and change all of them. Then, ya ever get that timing belt changed? No? Well, we better oughtta change it before it breaks on ya. So that'll be labor intensive, but you know once we pull the timing belt, all the belts'll be easy to get to and change. Then if you change the belts, then your hoses oughtta be updated too, so we'll do them. And remember the oil change, oil and fuel filter."
"So what's it gonna cost me, Paul?"
"Well we can get you back on the road for only $1,527."
"$1,527? Ouch."
"Yeah, these Acuras will run forever, but they's expensive when you do have to get 'em fixed."
"Jeeze, I guess so! So will I get it out today, Paul?"
"Oh no, we'll have to order some parts from Acura, that'll take an afternoon."
"So when, tomorrow evening?"
"Uhh, Thursday afternoon at the latest."
"Okay, Paul."

Fifteen hundred fucking bucks? For that I could fly to Ontario, pick up Zed and we could spend the weekend having champagne and room service at the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco.

Last time I took my car in, I said, "Paul, do whatever it needs, but call me if it's more than $700."
It was $69.
Looks like I need to remember that trick next time.