Sunday, February 17, 2002

Dog Blog

My new next door neighbor, who moved in over the holidays and I still haven't met, seems to be a bit of an idiot.
On Friday I awoke to the sound of a dog howling. Judging from the depth and volume of the howl, it had to be a large dog, and it had to be close by.
My office is in the back section of my house, and I noticed the relentless howling was even louder there.
It was getting more annoying by the hour, so I peered through the blinds and there locked behind the neighbor's gate was a full grown Springer Spaniel.
The howling became so regular, I was able to ignore it and forget about the dog all morning.
When I went out that afternoon on an errand, I returned to find the dog loose in my front yard. She was eyeing me as I drove up, so I figured I'd better try to be friendly so I could catch her for the neighbor.
Turns out she was very friendly and sweet. So, I told her to wait and I ran inside in search of something with which to tie her to the neighbor's front porch. What do I know, I am a cat person, so I grabbed an 8 foot extension cord.
I tied one end to her collar and secured the other half to the neighbor's front porch railing.
I went to get her a bowl of water, and when I returned the cord was broken and she was three houses down, playing with a mutt.
I called her and she came, so we went to my garage to look for rope. I found an 8' length of white rope and retied her, then took her back to the neighbor's porch.
As I left her and went back to lock my garage, she came trotting up again, with a 2' length of rope dangling from her collar.
Desperate and without anything sturdy enough to hold her, I spied the clothesline in my back yard and fetched some wire cutters. Just as I had cut the clothesline down, the neighbor's buddy or brother or drug dealer showed up and asked if I knew where the dog was. I said she's here, I was going to tie her up with my clothesline.
So I ended up taking her next door and the idiot said, "Maybe you should have tied her up, she might run loose from you."
He didn't even thank me for taking 45 minutes to try to secure her.
While I was out back dealing with the damn dog, I missed a package delivery from Zed.
Anyway, the neighbor finally got home and I noticed he was now keeping the dog on his screened-in porch.
I eyed the thin screening and chuckled to myself.
I woke up this morning to silence and looked through the blinds to see my neighbor's truck gone and a huge hole in one of the screens.
Looks like she refuses to live with an idiot.

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