Fitness Walk

Canadians apparently think we Americans are a bunch of sedentary, lazy, car-dependent, indoorsy, slothful, couch and computer potatoes.
All right, I suppose I could use more physical activity, and I do tend to be a bit sedentary. I suppose if I were compared to a vegetable, a large Idaho baker might be as good a comparison as any.
I am certainly no celery stalk, no snow pea, no carrot and no string bean.
So this morning my ice skating, walking-to-work-for-fitness, veggie loving Canuck girlfriend sent me a friendly e-mail, suggesting I actually leave my warm house and go somewhere... on foot.
I thought I might try it, so I laced up my Sketchers and bundled up, stuffed 5 dollars in my pocket and set out on a walk.
It was really quite nice. I spotted all sorts of interesting things on the road.
First I saw a discarded sample 3-pack of Viagra in a gutter. A few steps later I saw a large, discarded box of Viagra, so I am thinking the samples must have worked. Now if the lazy fucker would clean his gutters, he'll be in good shape.
Then I saw some discarded losing lottery scratch-off tickets, so I was inspired to buy some along the way. I stopped at a little gas station/convenience store and purchased three $1 tickets. The little gnome of a clerk has never been lucky for me, but I thought I'd try him anyway. Three losers. Four losers, if you count the gnome.
I continued on my walking path to another convenience store and paid my last $2 for two Valentine's scratch-off tickets. One was a $1 winner!
I passed by the Tip Top Cafe and smelled the roasting chicken and meat, which made my stomach growl. Alas, I had no money left to stop in and have a little nosh.
Then I passed the KFC, but I can't eat there ever since someone wrote the Funny Girl List about KFC breeding its own chicken-like mutations for boneless, fried chicken-esque meals. Ugh. I also passed the barbecue joint, but again I had no money so I had to keep walking.
I got as far as Walgreen's, and went in to see if they had anything interesting on special. They have maybe 10,000 Easter related items in stock, but without money, I made my exit fairly rapidly.
Walking back toward home, I found a shiny penny and picked it up. I was reminded of the time I found a diamond ring in the dirt and got $200 for it at the pawn shop.
I looked, but didn't find another ring today.

By the time I got home today, 45 minutes had passed! I feel like an Olympian!
I might take another walk again someday.