Toronto

Did anyone catch the Simpsons visiting Toronto last night?
Homer Simpson called Canada "America, Junior."
Getting off the bus behind them when they arrived in Toronto were a Royal Canadian Mountie, a hockey player and Sasquatch.
A Canadian graffiti artist was tagging a wall with an admonition to "OBEY THE RULES."
As they rode through the city, they saw a building called the Dodger's War Memorial.
Bart and his pal ended up on the set of "Curling for Loonies."
Poor Canada.
Even the Oscars allowed the South Park song "Blame Canada" to be nominated for an Academy Award, the heckling has become so all-American.
Just because they talk funny and they have little forest animals on their coins and Pokemon holograms on their 20's, is that any reason to dog them?
Just because they gave the world Anne Murray, Celine Dion, Alanis Morissette, Jim Carrey, Tom Green and Alex Trebec doesn't mean they are all dweebs.
Just because the Francophone Quebeckers want to secede and the rest of Canada think they are assholes doesn't mean the Americans should heckle them.
Just because they eat poutine and use peameal instead of cornmeal doesn't mean they deserve all the disrespect.
My Ontarioan girlfriend was trying to explain why she hated Alberta, and she slipped and said, "It's the Texas of Canada."
Seems a fair amount of Canadians think we Americans are loud, rude, violent, racist, gun happy and obnoxious. And forget what they think of Texans. We frighten them.
But get those Canucks near an all-American Walmart and they shop for bargains like a pack of rabid beavers.
They are a polite bunch, the Canucks.
My girlfriend is so polite, I can never tell when she's objecting to something.
I called her after work one day and discovered she'd had a bad day. The conversation went something like this:
"What happened, Sweetie?"
"Oh, a coworker was rather unpleasant."
"What did she do?"
"She was behaving in a very unpleasant manner."
"Why?"
"I am not sure, I think it may be hormonal."
"So, did you confront her?"
"Oh, Gosh no."
"Why not?"
"Oh, we just don't do that here."