Canadian Cobras

The other night I was talking to Zed and she said her eyes hurt like a cobra had spit in them.
I asked how she knew cobras spit, and she said Canada was full of cobras.
I said cobras are more hot weather reptiles and implied that she was lying through her teeth.
She insisted Canada was rife with cobras.
I asked how they stayed alive in the freezing weather.
She said they wore little parkas. Then she must have envisioned the logistics of that fabrication and switched it to capes.
Yes. She said cobras wear little capes in Canada.
I asked how the capes attached and she said they were tied under a little flap they had under their noses. Cobras don't have noses, they only have tiny, flat nostrils, but that fact seems to have escaped her. Besides, who would tie the little capes on for them?
I think she thinks we Texans are gullible.
Or maybe she was just jealous to hear about the proliferation of wild polar bears we have in the San Antonio area.
Just the other night, I nearly hit one with my car as he was eating a jackalope in the middle of the highway.
It is a little warm in Texas for polar bears, but they have their fur shaved by the Texas Game and Wildlife Commission every spring. They are kinda pink under all that fur.
I had a big fat one in my back yard the other night, eating pecans, shell and all. Now my driveway is covered in pecan studded bear crap, which attracts Peregrine falcons by the dozen. Ever tried to wash falcon crap off your car windshield? Horrible!