Sunday, April 09, 2006

Tea Party: When it's Time to Go

I attended an afternoon tea party on Sunday at the home of one of my friends who has what appears to be a fortune. None of us know where she got or how she made her money, but it's pretty obvious she has a lot of it.
It was all ladies, most of whom are straight and over 50, yet four other lesbians and I were invited because it's apparently chic for rich, single ladies to have lesbian friends.
The food was fabulous, the weather was perfect, and our hostess must have had her gardener working overtime, because her yard was festooned with every flower that can grow in South Texas. Gorgeous.
All in all, it was a lovely, relaxing afternoon... until Mary the Republican who smells like a ten-pound block of Camay soap came over to say hello.
At the time, I was talking politics with some rational, Bush loathing folks, one of whom had just attended a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton and found her charming.
I was dying to ask her more about the meeting, but then Mary the Republican sort of squeezed herself in between us and started yammering about how she still thinks Bush is doing a fine job. She even said she'd vote for him again.
I felt my jaw clench and tried to remain in a suitable tea party disposition, but my date was making crazy eyes at me so I'd keep myself in check.
Just as my voice started to amplify a bit about gas prices, Mary the Republican butt in and said, "Well, you'll be happy I didn't vote in the Republican primaries because I am voting for Kinky Friedman for governor."
Instantly, the ice melted and we actually high fived.
My date and I used the detente to slip into the next room, where we found seats at a nice, isolated table.
Alas, we were quickly joined by a 65-year-old British lady who loves to tell and retell the same stories in excruciating detail. Her appearance was followed quickly thereafter by Mary the Republican who smells like Camay soap.
We were cornered.
We'd just gotten cups of scalding hot coffee, so we couldn't exactly gulp and go.
But then when the British lady started telling us for the third time about the wrought iron planter her husband had gotten her for their patio, we developed asbestos mouths, downed our coffee in two gulps and got up to leave.
I was just glad the event was alcohol free, because between the cheap soap using Bush lover and the British Jabberjaws, I would have told one she was crazy and the other that she needed to shut the hell up and stop telling the same stories.
Otherwise, it was a lovely afternoon.

12 comments:

dusty said...

Asbestos is a cancer-causing substance..but other than that, you high-fived the repube? Why exactly was she voting for Kinky? I would of been curious how someone that thinks the Shrub is doing a good job could morph into a Kinky supporter.

You are a better person than I do withstand the assult of these two woman.God bless you KZ :P

Anonymous said...

You're a better woman than me, Gunga Din! I would've lost my mind at a party like that.

Sounds like you carried it off pretty well. These two lines had tears of laughter streaming down my face: "it's apparently chic for rich, single ladies to have lesbian friends" and "the Republican who smells like a ten-pound block of Camay soap". Oh shit, it's happening again! LMAO

Lulu Maude said...

There's a guy at my library with Down's syndrome who loves Bush and is very tight with his church. He says in his Down's innocent way that Dubya is a Christian. He would love nothing more than to catch Osama Bin Laden for the love of him. Sometimes it's a real tooth-grinder. Once I said, "There are lots of Christians who don't agree with President Bush." Then I shut my menacing mouth.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I actually like to get into uncomfortable social situations because it gives me good material for later.
LuLu, your little retarded friend is in good company. Perhaps his Uncle Clyde can get him a job sorting mail at the post office when he grows up.

StopKinky said...

If you have signed Kinky's petition and you now regret it, you can fix that mistake simply by voting in the runoff election on April 11.

Here is how the Texas Secretary of State explains the situation:

Q. If I sign an independent candidate’s petition after the primary and then vote in a party primary runoff. What happens to my signature?

A. If the party you voted in had a nominee for the same office sought by the independent candidate at either the primary or primary runoff election, your signature is void.

That means you can vote in the Republican Party runoff where there is an interesting race for Court of Criminal Appeals Judge between Terry Keel and Charles Holcomb, and by voting in this runoff you can erase your signature on Kinky's petition.

Or you can vote in the Democratic Party runoff where there is an interesting race between a serious candidate for US Senator like Barbara Ann Radnofsky versus a vanity candidacy from Gene Kelly (he's not the song and dance man -- that guy's dead) and between two serious candidates for Lieutenant Governor: Ben Grant and Maria Luisa Alvarado. So if you regret signing Kinky's petition, you can fix that error by voting in this runoff election.

If you vote in either runoff election on April 11, that vote will have the effect of retroactively nullifying your ballot petition signature (Which reminds me, has Kinky ever said whether he favors the wider availability of the morning after emergency contraception pill? Nope).

If you have signed Kinky's petition and you don't regret it, "why the hell not"? (catchy phrase!)

Here are ten reasons not to sign Kinky's petition (or to vote in the runoff to nullify your signature if you have signed the petition):

1. Kinky's own website quotes Kinky telling the New York Times, "I'm not pro-choice." Elsewhere on Kinky's website he simultaneously claims to believe in a woman's right to choose (apparently, Kinky's also believes he can have his cake and eat it, too).

2. At a recent death penalty trial, Kinky testified under oath that although "he used to support the death penalty, Friedman told jurors he's now against it." Yet Kinky's website also says "Kinky is not anti-death-penalty."

3. Kinky gave an interview to Susannah McNeely of Ruminator magazine where Kinky said "I voted for Gore" in 2000: "I was conflicted ... but I was not for Bush that time. Since then, though, we’ve become friends. And that’s what’s changed things.... I agree with most of his political positions overseas, his foreign policy.... What he’s been doing in the Near East and in the Middle East, he’s handling that well, I think." Yet that's clearly a lie because according to Kerr County voting records, Friedman voted in the 2004 presidential general election but not in any other contest since 1994.

4. Kinky wants to take money generated from sales tax and other state revenue sources and give that money away only to Texas property owning corporations and people with those owning the most valuable property getting the biggest windfall (Live in an apartment? Tough! Do you live in a modest house? Too bad!).

5. On a November 8, 2005, Kinky appeared on a nationally televised CNBC news program, where he was asked about his views on criminal punishment. Kinky replied, "Throw 'em in prison and throw away the key, and make 'em listen to a Negro talking to himself." When asked whether his use of the word "Negro" was racist, Kinky replied "no ... it's a charming word."

6. Kinky would address Texas' public education funding crisis by letting "the corporate sector bid on funding athletics." (What exactly does Kinky think the corporations will be getting from our children in exchange for their high bids?)

7. Kinky proposes to deal with immigration issues by building a wall along the Texas-Mexico border and by outsource our border security to five Mexican generals who we'd pay based on how successfully their armed thugs kept immigrants from crossing our border.

8. Kinky supports school prayer and posting the Ten Commandments in Texas classrooms (no word on whether Kinky has decided to post the Hebrew, Catholic, or Protestant version of the "Ten Commandments").

9. Kinky hasn't even gotten on the ballot yet, and he's already made plans to offer top political appointments to his biggest campaign contributors.

10. Kinky's candidacy is aimed a drawing votes from young independant voters who do not know where he stands on many issues, and yet Kinky has run for office before (as a Republican, not an independant), the only time Kinky said he voted for a Democrat in the past decade it turned out that Kinky lied and he actually didn't vote but when Kinky said he voted for Bush/Cheney in 2004 that proved to be the truth, Kinky has numerous Perry-supporting Republicans financially backing his petition drive, and if Kinky can draw off any significant number of independant votes, his candidacy will have the nearly certain effect of guaranteeing the re-election of arch-villain Rick Perry.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing, stopkinky.

What politician hasn't promised all sides what they wanted to hear then did what he wanted once elected? Put on your pointy-headed thinking cap and you might realize George W. Bush did that, Bill Clinton did that, George Herbert Walker Bush did that, Ronald Reagan did that, etc.

Convince me that Kinky is worse than anyone else and I just might give serious consideration to your devious little plan.

dusty said...

Penny..I think that guy is already wearing his aluminum hat dear..

dusty said...

er..tin foil hat..I am tired, I marched today.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Stopkinky,
I am glad I skipped the Democratic primaries so I could sign Kinky's petition. I'd do it again.
I have no passion for anyone in the Democratic runoffs, so I'll skip voting in them as well.
Having heard Kinky speak in person and in countless televised interviews, he strikes me as someone whose views match my own better than any other candidate.
Some of your allegations against him sound utterly implausible, if not totally dishonest. I am too busy to investigate each allegation, but I have pretty good instincts for political propaganda, and your list flunks the smell test.
Think and vote as you like, but please don't consider this a regular venue for Kinky bashing.
You've said your piece, and thanks for stopping by.
As for the Texas Governorship, may the best Jew-Boy win.

StopKinky said...

If you doubt me, there are links to the sources for every one of my statements here. For the record, I have no problem with anyone supporting Kinky, I just don't like to hear people who mistakenly believe he is a progressive candidate supporting Kinky. If you know where he stands on the issues, and you still support him, I have no objection.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Sorry pal, the Swift Bloat Veterans for Truth sort of spoiled these types of volunteered links.
I fully believe the GOP is capable of sending out messengers to dog any candidate who opposes their man.You are the only person I've known to further this "Kinky is Two-faced" thread.
Perry has more to fear from Kinky than any other candidate.
As I have already said, you've had ample space to air your views on my site. Please desist now, lest I delete further comments and links.
Thank you kindly.

Karen Zipdrive said...

P.S. to stopkinky:

Are you perchance planning to vote for Rick Perry?