Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Tony Snowjob

By now, everyone has heard that Bush's new mouthpiece Tony Snow has said some rather shocking but true things about The Decider.
Now as Liar in Chief, Snow will have to minimize those comments with pithy jokes about how hard he was on the 'other guy.'
As a Fox News alum, Snow is well suited for his new job. His bona fides as a liar are established; he's ready to roll.
Will his presence help the Decider's plummeting poll numbers?
Bush passed his freshness date the moment Katrina blew in.
Bush has just gone from Blowjob to Snowjob.


larkohio said...

Great post.
Tony will make it interesting in the short run. I feel confident that he can lie every bit as well as good old Scottie.

BigSis said...

I'll be curious to see if Snow bloats up like Scottie did. He looked horribly constipated all the time, red face and all.

Perhaps it was the thought of now having to actually go home and service his wife/beard whom he married just a few months into his press gig.

larkohio said...

bigsis, I think Scottie was just a wee bit overweight because he was one of those guys who eat when they are stressed. "I have to do a press briefing? Have a large bag of M&M's ready when I'm done."

Karen Zipdrive said...

Thanks to Think Progress, here's a round-up of quotes about Bush from Tony Snowjob:
(I wonder how he'll deny what he's said?)

– Bush has “lost control of the federal budget and cannot resist the temptation to stop raiding the public fisc.” [3/17/06]

– “George W. Bush and his colleagues have become not merely the custodians of the largest government in the history of humankind, but also exponents of its vigorous expansion.” [3/17/06]

– “President Bush distilled the essence of his presidency in this year’s State of the Union Address: brilliant foreign policy and listless domestic policy.” [2/3/06]

– “George Bush has become something of an embarrassment.” [11/11/05]

– Bush “has a habit of singing from the Political Correctness hymnal.” [10/7/05]

– “No president has looked this impotent this long when it comes to defending presidential powers and prerogatives.” [9/30/05]

– Bush “has given the impression that [he] is more eager to please than lead, and that political opponents can get their way if they simply dig in their heels and behave like petulant trust-fund brats, demanding money and favor — now!” [9/30/05]

– “When it comes to federal spending, George W. Bush is the boy who can’t say no. In each of his three years at the helm, the president has warned Congress to restrain its spending appetites, but so far nobody has pushed away from the table mainly because the president doesn’t seem to mean what he says.” [The Detroit News, 12/28/03]

– “The president doesn’t seem to give a rip about spending restraint.” [The Detroit News, 12/28/03]

– “Bush, for all his personal appeal, ultimately bolstered his detractors’ claims that he didn’t have the drive and work ethic to succeed.” [11/16/00]

– “Little in the character of demeanor of Al Gore or George Bush makes us say to ourselves: Now, this man is truly special! Little in our present peace and prosperity impels us to say: Give us a great man!” [8/25/00]

– “George W. Bush, meanwhile, talks of a pillowy America, full of niceness and goodwill. Bush has inherited his mother’s attractive feistiness, but he also got his father’s syntax. At one point last week, he stunned a friendly audience by barking out absurd and inappropriate words, like a soul tortured with Tourette’s.” [8/25/00]

– “He recently tried to dazzle reporters by discussing the vagaries of Congressional Budget Office economic forecasts, but his recitation of numbers proved so bewildering that not even his aides could produce a comprehensible translation. The English Language has become a minefield for the man, whose malaprops make him the political heir not of Ronald Reagan, but Norm Crosby.” [8/25/00]

– “On the policy side, he has become a classical dime-store Democrat. He gladly will shovel money into programs that enjoy undeserved prestige, such as Head Start. He seems to consider it mean-spirited to shut down programs that rip-off taxpayers and mislead supposed beneficiaries.” [8/25/00]

Karen Zipdrive said...

As for Snow being able to lie, he worked for Fox News--where lying is an art form.
He's just as slimy and duplicitious as the "man" he'll work for. He should be an excellent fit.

dusty said...

He is merely a new talking head..that can think on his feet..unlike Scotty.

Karen Zipdrive said...

He's a lot slicker than the pudgy faggot, but is someone who slithers on his belly going to be more acceptable than the red-faced bumbler we just had?
With McClellan we had constipation.
With Snow, here comes the diarrhea.
Either way, it's a shit-fest.

larkohio said...

Karen, You are too funny!

Karen Zipdrive said...


Karen Zipdrive said...

I heard that Tony Snow's first initiative will be to switch the White House televisions from Fox News to reality-based news networks, so the people who work there can start to get a clearer picture on what's really happening in the world.
If that's the case, Bush may have hired the right guy.