Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Go Yearn for Zion Some Goddamn Place Else

Like that Yankee carpetbagger George W. Bush hasn't fucked up Texas's reputation enough, now we have a scandal out of Eldorado with those out-of-state polygamous Fundamentalist Mormons and their creepy-ass pedophile ranch.
Look, non-Texas folks, don't start getting any crazy ideas.
Just because Texas has lots of farm and ranch land available doesn't mean you can bring your child molesting for Jesus cults here and put down stakes.
That shit belongs in Utah and Arizona with the rest of those crazy religious nut bastards.
Texas is a lot like California.
The natives are just regular people, it's these out-of-staters who bring their Biblical jibber-jabber and Jesus-freaky lifestyles to Texas and ruin it for the rest of us.
The Yearning for Zion (YFZ) cult was founded by that milquetoast, weak-chinned pedophile Warren Jessop, who's doing hard pokey time for arranging marriages between grown men and little girls who had no choice in the matter.
The great state of Texas has taken legal, protective custody of more than 400 little children and 140 women who were treated like icky blow-up dolls by the racist, mongrel men who run the YFZ cult.
It's costing us millions to sort this out, so let's hope heads are gonna roll over this.
We Texans are putting out the word:
Keep Your Wacko LDS Pedophile Cults in Utah...or anywhere but Texas.


dguzman said...

WTF is it about those wackos that draws them to Texas? You'd think the heat would keep them away.

Of course, PA is known for having more active chapters of the KKK than any other state. So consider yourself lucky!

Karen Zipdrive said...

They must think Texas is so huge there's no way there can be enough law enforcement to cover every mile.
At least the KKK wear those weird robes and pointy caps so you can pick them out.
These freaks are incognito, dressed as nerds.

bigsis said...

They love them wide open spaces, conservative hicks, religious nuts and all the guns they can possibly want. Texas has lots of all that.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Yeah, but we draw the line at child molesters in Texas.
That's a Utah thang.

Anonymous said...

Best article I've seen on this yet !

I just hope these girls will have a chance to experience life as a young teen should - not gagging over some fat old pig slobbering all over them every night -

Karen Zipdrive said...

Anon, I know a lot of Texas social workers with a helluva lot of heart. We have a pretty good child protective service organization here, and Texas has really doubled up on getting the kids and women to safety pdq.
The girls will be okay once they get a taste of freedom from YFZ religious tyranny and no longer have to anticipate marrying and servicing some creepy old fart.

Anonymous said...

Guns are good. When used appropriate. lee

karenzipdrive said...

I've read that the "men" of the YFZ cult liked to use their "sacred temple" as a love shack for screwing underage girls.
There was even a bed in it.
I wonder if one of the sister wives had to change the skanky sheets?

Anonymous said...

Listening to NPR today about this is really pissing me off! The little girl that made the first phone call has disappeared to some other compound. I don't expect this to become another Waco, but come on folks, if this is going on in Eldorado, it's going on in AZ, Canada and any other place these wierdos are. I am disgusted that it has taken this long for law enforcement to take action.

Karen Zipdrive said...

That little girl's disappearence could well be just the legal justification needed for all the YFZ compounds in the U.S. and Canada to be searched by law enforcement.
I may be a liberal, but not when it comes to sexually exploiting children. I say we should string 'em all up if they are found guilty.

Distributorcap said...

We Texans are putting out the word:Keep Your Wacko LDS Pedophile Cults in Utah...or anywhere but Texas.

you do have the crawford ranch --- home of wacko cults and total morons

KarenZipdrive said...

Actually, that area is notoriously NOT ranchland, it's farmland.
Bush purchased the acerage just before he threw his hat in the ring for president.
His handlers thought it might make that Yankee Blueblood carpetbagger look more like a he-man and less like a soft-handed Ivy League frat boy from Connecticut.
As for all that silly brush clearing, no real rancher in Texas would attempt such a Sisyphusian pastime. If ranchers want brush cleared, they bring in heavy equipment and/or have people do it for them.
We Texans laugh our asses off at the very idea of it. You can clear brush every day for a week and three days later it's back again.