Thursday, April 03, 2008

It's McCain's Magical Memory Tour!!

Wowzah! Twenty-three skidoo!
There's nothing I love more than to gather 'round and listen to an old man talk about his personal history.
From Meridian to Annapolis to Florida, then a safe landing in Arizona-- I can hardly imagine what fun it would be to sit in the audience and watch McCain read his heartfelt memories off the jumbo TelePrompter.
With so many uppity young voters suddenly in the mix (thanks to that whippersnapper Barack Obama)I think McCain's handlers came up with a brilliant plan to attract younger voters with his tender memories...I can just see a couple of 20-year-olds in Annapolis now:
"Yo, Dude! Johnny Mac is up in here today talkin' about where he be back in the day!"
"You goin' to check him out?"
"Fuck yeah, I'm goin'! I be down with the Mac Granddaddy. He cool!"
"Yeah, he cool wif his war hero joint n'all."
"You wanna score some weed before we go so's we can really get into his story?"
"Ah, Hell no. Since he be in the race I change my ways. He a inspiration to young peeps."
"I'm down widdat, Jack!" (high fives exchanged)

Uh huh. Imagine sitting in the audience of some warm cafetorium in Mississippi amidst the box fans and air smelling like Ben Gay and urine. Then McCain inches toward the lectern and begins to tell the tale of his admiral daddy and granddaddy and how towns like Meridian shaped his manhood.
Hopefully, he's taking advantage of modern technology and adding a slide show with a roll down screen, provided by the AV Club at the local high school.
Forget current events like the war, gas prices and the recession--McCain just knows that people love to hear about the way it was back in the day.
He may be an old man, but he knows how to put some sizzle into this race.

He's the bee's knees.


Karen Zipdrive said...

You think his farts smell like mothballs? I bet they do.

dguzman said...

Maybe he'll get out his ViewMaster and show 'em some slides of Vietnam.

karenzipdrive said...

Yeah, and he can put some 45's on the phonograph with hip new groups like The Beach Boys!

Distributorcap said...

warm cafetorium in Mississippi amidst the box fans and air smelling like Ben Gay and urine

hey -- that is the recipe for Cindy's perfume, how did you know that?