Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Best bad dancer EVER!

Forget Tom DeLay, the Dancing With the Stars dark horse, and I do mean horse, is Macy Gray.
With her giant head and man hands n' feet, her poor little dance partner Jonathan Roberts looks like he's dancing with a crazed kangaroo. Or horse. Or whatever animal you can think of that's untrainable, clumsy and prone to rage.
I voted for her 8 times.
She's the hands-down funniest dancer I've ever seen.
She makes Penn Gillette look like Fred Astaire. She makes Cloris Leachman look like Ginger Rogers.
She takes one good step, surprises herself, then gets thrown off the beat for the rest of the song.
When she extends her arms, she does it with such force she could cold-cock her poor little partner if he got in the way.
The judges were so shocked with her Viennese waltz, they pulled their punches and ducked just in case she got angry and flipped out on them.
I love her quirky mezzo soprano voice and even her shitty attitude, but damn, she's a Clydesdale on the dance floor.
I know it's mean to laugh at someone as lousy a dancer as she, but I just can't help it. She is to dancing what William Shatner is to singing "Rocket Man."
You gotta see her. Unbelievable!


bigsis said...

hmmm, you've got me very intrigued now. But they'll have to ditch Delay first. Let me know when he's voted off.

Fran said...

I never ever watch that - maybe I should have!

Karen Zipdrive said...

Oh, sillies- Macy and Delay won't be around long, and there's no telling which will be thrown off first.
I cannot believe after 8 years of blogging, people still question my impeccable bad TV judgment.
And sis, do not make me come up there next week and hold you in front of the TV and force you to watch. You know I have the brute strength to do that.

nonnie9999 said...

i'm laughing my ass off, because i saw it, and you're right! it was so fucking hilarious! her partner is one of the biggest guys on the show, and he looked like she was his babysitter! instead of dance shoes, he should have come to the floor with a lasso. if her total lack of grace wasn't bad enough, the expressions on her face were enough to scare little children. the funniest part was when he had to kinda catch and hold her so she could something that was supposed to look like a graceful kick. he looked like he was straining to hold up a mack truck. he has to be so grateful that they aren't supposed to do lifts. the only thing that can lift her has to have an hydraulic system.

p.s. the random word verification word is dedants--like dead dance!! how fitting.

Karen Zipdrive said...

FINALLY someone saw it and appreciated it for all its grandeur. Thank you for reminding me of the highlights. Jonathan trying to drag her backwards made me spit water all over myself. His face got red and you could see him blowing air out of his cheeks, like he was trying to drag a room sized carpet roll up a flight of stairs.
And her face! She looked like she was hungover, constipated and had a jagged stone in her shoe.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Lifting her would have blown a hernia right through the fabric of his pants.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Macy Gray just got voted off.
She looked kinda sad. It hurt my heart, truly. I'd rather she stormed off in a huff.
Thanks for the memories, girl.

And Ashley Hamilton also got the boot. Too many drugs too early in life, I guess. What a tool.

rideandcook said...

All that said, and I didn't watch it, usually when a horse is untrainable, clumsy and prone to rage he has a bad partner. The best thing he can do is buck the moron off. Sorry y'all! Couldn't let it go.

HelenWheels said...

No one enjoys bad reality TV like you, KZD!! I'm glad you made me watch her, it was a hoot. And between you & nonnie, I'd say the review is spot on. I just spewed water all over myself reading your reactions.

nonnie9999 said...

is it me, or did you notice that both macy gray and donny osmond have huge heads? they made the people standing next to them look like they have little beans sitting on their necks. it's like they're exiles from easter island.

p.s. i think kathy ireland goes next.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Macy and Donnie both have Tootsie Roll Pop heads.

And poor, poor Kathy Ireland. Who knew she's be suck a klutz?

Dusty said...

Ah yes, my guilty pleasure..dancing w/the dimwits.

I missed tuesday night as I was thankfully finally sleeping. But if she makes Penn look like Fred..I missed a goodie!

Lulu Maude said...

Aw, she was just too big for that guy. I was hoping for something much more over the top.

Thanks for posting it, though. You really got me curious.

Distributorcap said...