Friday, September 18, 2009

Day Five: Still Alive

Hmm. Yesterday my inner bitch got out and really jarred my equilibrium. People who knew I had quit smoking were dodging me, and those who didn't regretted contacting me, I'm sure.
One such person was my friend DJ Jackie.
She called with her usual stream of consciousness chatter, bitching about a carload of Indians (India Indians) who rammed into her brand new car and injured her. Once I ascertained that she was okay, I told her I was too panicky to talk on the phone. She kept talking, so I told her I had diarrhea and had to go!
Today is a new day.
I feel tamer and more resigned to my fate as a non-smoker.
My day-old haircut looks like I accidentally put my head into a thresher. It'll take about 4 tablespoons of product to coax it into submission.
Swell, food tastes better already. It tasted pretty good before, so I gotta watch what I eat, big time.
I'm going to try not to be a bitch today.
I'll let you know how that turns out.


Lulu Maude said...


Even with Willie the Personal Trainer out of the picture, you must honor the legacy.

Whip up a batch of endorphins today.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I'm doing a lot of chores today and believe me, that's exercise enough.
I'm escaping town for the weekend, going to the smokelessiest place I know- casa de Pink Lungs, aka Big Sis's smokeless emporium.

bigsis said...

And while we have her in our clutches we're taking Zip to a beautiful outdoor sculpture garden and then shopping for goodies to make a yummy healthy Austin style meal.

God I hope we don't end up having to buy cigarettes to soothe the savage beast.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Do they even sell cigarettes in the Holyland of Austin, where all is organic and scented with patchouli?

Lulu Maude said...

Just git 'er drunk.

Fran said...

You go girl! ^5

nonnie9999 said...

you should put all these anecdotes into a little notebook and write a self-help book later on when you're on a slightly more even keel.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Nonnie- what shall we call the haircut chapter?

nonnie9999 said...

don't even talk to me about haircuts. a couple of months ago, i got the worst haircut of my life. instead of going to who i usually go to, i had it cut on a whim. this bitch told me how she used to work in the poshest new york salons, and then she butchered my hair. i didn't even realize it until i got home (long story). one side is longer than the other, and in the back, it looks like she cut gum out of my hair. it makes no sense whatsoever. just chunks cut out. i have crappy hair to begin with, and she made it a thousand times worse. i really have to go to my hairdresser to fix it, but i haven't gotten around to it yet. honestly, a 3-year-old could have done a better job with a machete and a meat slicer. it really pisses me off that i didn't call and scream and refuse to pay my credit card bill. i was just too damned exhausted to bother. thank goodness for baseball caps.

as to what you can call that chapter, how about, 'if you mess up my follicles, i'll mess up your testicles.' (maybe i'm still a bit too angry about my haircut.)

HelenWheels said...

I have a bad-ish haircut story but it's 3 years old so I can't recount it with the same fresh rage that you & nonnie can, KZD. I wouldn't do it justice. let's just say I cheated on my hairdresser and immediately went back. I got the "scolding" look but he was pretty easy on me, considering I cheated and all. Glad Big Sis is taking care of you!!

Karen Zipdrive said...

I went to the corner store to buy a Sunday paper and Apu the counter guy said, "What happen to your hair, Miss?"