Sunday, September 20, 2009

Oh, Goodie.



In a straw poll yesterday at the Values Voters Summit, Mike Huckabee won 29 percent of the vote as their most preferred Republican candidate for president in 2014.
Huckabee, who promised a squirrel in every pot, also promises plenty of religiosity, courtesy of his Southern Baptist minister training.
You see, folks, the Republican party is now all about the Deep South and their creepy, racist, Christian fundamentalist world view.

Get a load of yesterday's conference break-out meetings for Value Voters:
-Global Warming Hysteria: The New Face of the "Pro-Death Agenda"
-Obamacare: Rationing Your Life Away
-Activism and Conservatism: Fit to a (Tea) Party
-Thugocracy: Fighting the Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy

Yep, this shit was the popular subject matter for the tighty righties.
Never mind putting an end to war, finding health care solutions for all Americans, improving educational standards or balancing the budget, the Party of No just wants to bitch about conspiracies and plan attacks against issues they are too ignorant to understand, and too incurious to learn about.

Whew, I was hoping a group like this wouldn't endorse Mitt Romney and his magic underwear. He actually looks like the kind of bland white dude these hicks could envision as a leader.
But nope, they want the fat Southern preacher with squirrel breath and a wife who rivals Barbara Bush in the style department.
Let's forget all about reviving Camelot, with an attractive young president and an adorable family.
With Huckabee, we'll get HeeHaw and all the fixins'.
Where do I send my campaign contribution? I have a whole shoebox filled with Confederate money I want to send the huckster.

8 comments:

bigsis said...

The only way this could get better is if he chooses Palin for his VP.

Karen Zipdrive said...

True, sis, but no way is a Southern white boy gonna choose an uppity woman to be his VP.
That there's mens work, and any Southern Baptist minister's wife will tell you a woman's place is in the fellowship hall, serving punch and cookies.

bigsis said...

You're probably right. And I'm not sure they could get Palin to wear a pioneer woman's outfit and do her hair up in YFZ style.

Dr. Monkey said...

I'd love to see Huck-a-douche and his wife Gomerette get the Rep. nomination. Obama would rout them like he did McCain.

Karen Zipdrive said...

That's so rude, Monkey.
Her name is Gomerann.

nonnie9999 said...

i don't know if chuckleberry will even make it to the primaries next year. he's putting the tonnage back on, and his arteries might clap shut before all the fun begins.

dguzman said...

Between the post ("a squirrel in every pot") and these comments, I have nothing to add but riotous laughter.

Well done, Zip and friends!

Dusty said...

That bible thumping douche nozzle can kiss my hairy ass..twice even.

I hope he IS the one that the Rethugs choose..should be easy to beat him as he is as batshit crazy as Palin.