The Charmaine and Brian Heidik Story
Hidden microphones in the Heidik household have revealed what happened before Brian took that violent punch to the nose from his buxom bride:
Brian: Honey, I'm home!
Charmaine: Did you win?
B: Uhh, no. I came in third.
C: But I wanted that money!!
B: I know dumpling, but that Helen and Clay outfoxed me!
C: Fuck that shit- you promised me a million dollars!
B: I know, precious, but...
C: But nothing! I need collagen! I need my implants enlarged! I need lipo! The poodle needs grooming! Our little son whatshisname needs, oh I don't know, baby toys or some fucking shit!
B: But you have that white Cadillac, darling!
C: It was used when I got it, you loser!
B: Well, we can get you a later model. We have a '96 on the lot- real sharp!
C: I WANTED A BRAND NEW CAR, YOU IMBECIL, IMBE... DUMMY!! YOU PROMISED!
B: I'm sorry, sugar baby!
C: And look at you! You're too skinny to get any movie jobs! Your nose looks like a pelican beak with that skinny face!
B: Oh but baby, you can do another movie so we can afford all those...
C: Shut up, Pelican Beak!
B: But, but, but!
Charmaine then punches Brian in the nose. BAM!
B: You hit me! I'm... I'm bleeding!
C: Shut up!
B: I'm calling the cops!
C: Go ahead, you used car selling, no-surviving loser!
B: Hello 9-1-1? This is Nicole Simpson. I think you know my husband's record...
No comments:
Post a Comment