Tuesday, December 31, 2002

Happy New Year!

We are back from the coast where we had a wonderful time.
I refused to wear sunscreen, saying the winter sun wouldn't burn me. I was mistaken. She, however, is golden brown and looks like an ad for a tropical resort.
We ran the gamut of weather conditions, but overall the beach conditions were close to perfect. They certainly compensated for the big, fat speeding ticket Officer Bubba slapped me with in George West, Texas on the way down there. Now I gotta take those stupid classes to avoid a jillion dollar fine. Eighty-four in a 70 mile zone. Big fucking deal.

On a jaunty little three-hour beach hike, Aviva went in the water and removed her bathing suit, waving it in the air for my edification.
I, being the freezing, shivering, fully clothed chicken shit I am, did not rise to the challenge and go in and get her. She remained a good sport however and emerged from the water topless, so there was that.
We went to Matamoros, Mexico on the way home yesterday. Aviva had been to resort towns in Mexico, but never a border town, and her delicate Canadian sensibilities were assaulted visually, audibly and olifactorily.
The men undressed her and repositioned her with their leering eyes. One scoundrel actually offered her beer or bottled water as we shopped in his dubiously authentic jewelry shop. He called me seƱor, the prick, and I got no such beverage offer.
I am used to walking with her and having both sexes leer at her, but in Mexico they actually licked their lips and drooled like mangy curs watching a juicy T-bone walk by.
Two hours of mercado shopping and we left, empty handed. Not even a bottle of Kahlua or tequila did we buy. She had nasty eye prints all over her.
On the long wait to get back over the international bridge, blind guys, beggars and junk salesmen threaded their way between lanes of traffic, surrounding us like magpies. I noticed smoke billowing up from my rear window interior brake light housing and had to stage a daring daylight rescue- taking Aviva's bottled water and pouring it into the housing. I heard a loud pop and the smoke stopped. The brake light exploded. But we averted a vehicle fire, so that was nice.
Somewhere near Corpus Christi, the skies turned an ominous shade of black and we found ourselves driving through torrential rains and hail. The only thing to do in such cases is keep moving, so we did.
My morning frijoles by then were percolating in my intestines like nuclear warheads, and I drove home slightly standing to avoid any pesky explosions.
We went for margaritas and tacos before we got to my house.
Then the next thing I knew I was awake, and it was today.
Happy New Year to everyone. We have no firm plans yet.

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