Tuesday, March 04, 2008


Oh my God, I am so tired of the phone messages and the e-mail and the snail mail from Obama and Hillary, I could just scream.
Finally, today is Texas's Super Tuesday and after today, those wacky politicians will leave our fair state and forget about us for a while.
It's been ridiculous.
Obama hired Mexican mariachis to sing a song about him in Spanish for a TV ad.
Hillary trotted out some B-list celebrities like Ted Danson to appear with her.
Obama wore a ridiculous black cowboy hat.
Hillary ate Mexican food till her eyes turned orange-y brown.
Both of them lifted Gen X songs that purportedly represented them. Somehow, I don't think Tom Petty wrote "American Girl" for Hillary:
"Oh yeah, all right,
Take it easy baby,
Make it last all night..."

Of my siblings, two are for Obama and Big Sis and I are for Hillary.
I wish Mama were still alive. She'd have gone for Hillary.
We've all voted already. It was over for us last week.
There's been record-smashing turnout throughout Texas for these Democratic candidates.
Poor Huckabee showed up in a couple of podunk towns to play his shitty guitar and beg for votes. McCain's arrogant ass stayed in Arizona, where he barbecued babyback ribs in his back yard.
Looks like Texas has had enough of the Republicans and is ready to turn back into a Democratic state like it used to be. Yay!
But for now, I just want them all to pack their shit and leave.
I almost miss those 24/7 pick-up truck commercials.

Oh and one more thing. If the phone rings in the Whitehouse at 3 a.m. I want Hillary to answer it. We know she'll be awake--waiting for Bill to come home.


CLD said...

They're talking about letting Florida have a do-over on our primaries. So even though we thought we dodged a bullet last time with commercials, move-on.org calls and stump speeches, we may just end up having to go through them all anyway.

Hillary will still be up at 3:00AM because that's what all of us women are doing at that time. It's my usual night sweat, gotta go empty the bladder time. :)

Karen Zipdrive said...

Yeah, my kitties will testify that I awaken them at 3 a.m. to run to the bathroom.
But I think Hillary must be finished with menopause by now. If it still goes on after age 60, please send me a loaded gun NOW.
I am confused about Florida's do-over. That's some screwy politics up in there.

dguzman said...


Wait--is peeing five times a night a sign of menopause? (Please?)

bigsis said...

I'm with you Zip, the phone calls and ads are killing me. But I'm glad Huck is hanging in there because he's like a fly in McCain's face and that's a good thing. Mc is too busy swatting at Huck to get too jiggy with either of the D's.

p.s you don't know, you just assume you know who I voted for. I purposely avoided giving you a direct answer.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Big Sis, you TOLD me you were voting for Hillary, and if you didn't, please don't ever tell me because Mama will hear you from Heaven and have the ghost of LBJ kick your ass.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Dguz- peeing 5 times a night sounds more like diabetes to me.
You better check it out, ladybug.

Dusty said...

So..are you going out to caucus tonight? It's a ridiculous two-step process there correct?

Since I am registered as "Decline to State" I do not get bugged by any specific candidates. I like it that way. ;)

karenzipdrive said...

Fuck the caucus!
I am done.
This primary has been like a jumbo banana split.
The first several bites were delicious, but I am so sick of all the goo I want to projectile vomit.
Hillary's a bitch, Obama's a phony, McCain is a sniveling jackass and Huckabee is a goofy hayseed with a sideways tooth.
Fuck them all and the horses they pretended to ride in on.

Dusty said...

Oh damn, I seem to have upset our hostess.

My apologies dear Karen. I just don't understand how your state's halfwitted election works..its part caucus and part vote..bullshit designed to confuse and piss off the masses I say.

karenzipdrive said...

Not to worry, lil' Dusty, it's just my PFS (primary fatigue syndrome).
You are correct about the state's halfwitted scavenger hunt election maize.
They have the gall to call it the Texas Two Step. You get in one long line, then travel to another place to get into another long line, then you put your right foot in, your right foot out, then you do the hokey pokey and you drive away with doubt.
I'm at the point where I have to put my faith in Hillary stealing the Superdelegates and showing Obama what it's all about.

Dusty said...

I really want it all over now for the entire nation KZ..I am sick of the press marginalizing everything important..and concentrating on nothing but the bullshit.

No substance..just drama..and I fucking loathe drama.

MSNBC is now explaining Ohio, where the polls are closed. Oh joy..I get to find out how the Asian men with hispanic wives voted..I can't friggin WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!


karenzipdrive said...

At this point, the only thing that could revive my electile dysfunction would be if Hillary opened two giant cans of whoopass on Obama in Texas and Ohio.

Dusty said...

They had Howie Dean on MSNBC this afternoon. The jackass said nothing of substance, just bitching and moaning about McCain..and I was like:

WTF? Why is he wasting my time then?

I just hope whomever gets the nod..can beat the fuck out of Weathervane McCain's candy ass. I will vote for Scooter Lee..my fat white cat named after what's-his-name, most likely...I can not choose between the rookie and the diehard DLC female.

And while I am here..I want to say I heart you KZ..you don't mince words and you speak your mind without any fluff to dress it up. I like that about you..honest woman from Texas that reminds me of the other two honest women from TX that I adore Ann and Molly.

karenzipdrive said...

Thanks very much, Dusty.
I try to give everyone a voice here, unless they are just too fucking stupid to deserve the bandwidth, then I delete their comments. I've only had to delete two comments in the seven years I've been blogging.
Ann Richards and Molly Ivins were my heroes, and I was fortunate enough to interview Ann and meet Molly at one of Ann's birthday parties.
I don't hold a candle to either of those two Texas giants, but thanks for pretending I do. ;)

Dusty said...

Your the closest this Cali bitch ever got to either of them, and I remember reading your posts about both of those wonderful females. ;)

Damn, I been a fan of yours for going on two years now I think..time flies eh? ;p

Distributorcap said...


us guys also have to get up at 3am to pee -- call it an enlarged prostate -- while it is not menopause, it is our punishment for not having menopause.... and sometimes it can take quite a long time to drain that bladder (ugh!)

i also would add Barbara Jordan to your list of top texas broads!

Karen Zipdrive said...

Barbara Jordan was a magnificent orator and a huge presence in Texas and DC. She lacked the wit of the other two, but for a Black woman from Texas she kicked ass and took names.
I am sad to hear that middle-aged men also have to get up to pee at three.
While I was working out earlier tonight, I chugged an entire liter of SmartWater. I'm going to be peeing like a racehorse all night, but fortunately the cats can't tell time.

Karen Zipdrive said...

As of 9:47 p.m. CST, Obama is leading slightly in Texas, but in my county (Bexar) we bitches have handed it to Hillary.
Oddly enough, Obama is here in town for a 10 p.m. rally. He should have done it from Austin, where the Gen X kids have put down their Guitar Heroes and stopped texting long enough to go to the polls and vote for him.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Hillary has a slight lead in Texas AND Ohio as of 9:53 p.m.
Houston and Dallas are going for Obama but San Antonio and the sticks are going to Hillary.
San Antonio gives her 56%.

Karen Zipdrive said...

She just won Ohio.
heh heh heh

Dusty said...

Tweety and Olbermann are explaining what it all means now.

They have handed it to Hillary in Ohio but the size of the win isn't carved in stone yet..so the delegates..which are the MOST important part of the whole damn shootin match won't be known until the last vote is counted in both states.

Karen Zipdrive said...

True, Dusty, but Obama's arrogance and cocksuredness were apparently premature.
Ohio has decided the presidency for a damn long time, and no matter how his Claymates slice and dice it, the race ain't over yet.
As of 10:23 p.m. Hillary still has a slight edge in Texas.
No wonder the Claymates wanted her to quit before these races.
I hear chickens clucking!

Dusty said...

You can have your victory tonight..but its still about Delegates dear KZ..and she has a long upward climb to pull that important part of the equation together.

I am still not in either of their courts. A vote for Scooter Lee is a vote for neither Dem..oops..Obama is up now..gotta listen to his spiel..

Karen Zipdrive said...

I have posted a new entry that addresses the delegate issue, Dusty.
Just remember that Hillary does her best work as the underdog.
And the underdog just got thrown some pretty juicy new bones.