No, this post will not be about using sanitized tape worms to reduce excess weight, but like this ad, politics can be disgusting and utterly misguided.
A local politician friend of mine expressed some interest in reading my Blog, so last night I browsed through the archives to see how my political views and predictions from as early as 2001 have withstood the test of time.
I'm not bragging, but I've been making accurate political predictions since this blog began.
Having said that, I want to make a few predictions about the presidential race.
Bear with me. If I'm wrong you can come back after the convention and call me a clueless dipshit.
I think Obama will go into the Democratic National Convention well ahead of Hillary, both in popular votes and delegate count, but she and Bill will go into overdrive in the back rooms of the delegates and super delegates and make some offers they cannot refuse.
If they truly possess the political acumen and sheer guts I think they have, don't be shocked if a lot of the delegates change their minds and go with Hillary, leading to her winning the nomination.
If this happens, the consternation from Obama supporters will fracture the party and cause a lot of Democrats not to vote at all. McCain will be the benefactor of this possibility.
Polls say the American public is tired of the GOP's war and economic blunders and they want a change. That's a given.
But the GOP masterfully packaged Little Bush into some kind of likable hero straight from central casting, while they depicted John Kerry as an elite French guy who purchased his three Purple Hearts with the bars of gold his butler carried for him while he was in Vietnam. They made Al Gore into a wooden statue who hugged one too many tree and bored people to death.
The GOP didn't steal the last two elections by showing us what a superb candidate they had in Bush, they did it by turning Al Gore and John Kerry into villains. The public bought it because America is infused with too many insecure lemmings who value guys who are willing to kill without much provocation.
I realize that a lot of people hate Hillary's guts.
Furthermore, this campaign season has exposed America's innate hatred for strong women beyond anyone's wildest imagination.
I have heard way too many people express their hatred for Hillary without offering one plausible explanation for that hatred. Vagaries like pant suits, staying with a cheating husband, her abrasive laugh, her fat ankles, commodities profits and murdering her friend Vince Foster arise.
Still, I think if Hillary wins the nomination then takes off the gloves and continually pounds McCain on his desire to continue the failed policies of Bush, people will hold their noses and vote for her.
Obama has benefited from his short history as a federal legislator. He didn't vote for the war because he wasn't a Senator at the time. The GOP won't find much political dirt with which to eviscerate him.
But he's got personal baggage that shoots arrows into the hearts of conservative, warmongering flag wavers, and that is indisputable.
Nobody has a friend named Barack. Nobody has neighbors named Obama. Nobody born in America has Hussein as a middle name.
His parents were a fucking mess. His daddy was an arrogant, Muslim, well-educated African who still had a wife in Africa when he married Obama's mother. Later in life he turned atheist.
His mother was a free spirit who left Barack with her parents while she trotted around Indonesia looking for intellectual enlightenment and a Ph.D.
And now it turns out his preacher and spiritual advisor is an angry, radical Black man who said "God damn America" from the pulpit.
Not only has Obama's Christianity been called into question, his association with Rev. Wright will brand him for millions as a white hating agitator.
His wife admitted she'd never been proud of America until her husband scored some political points. She is abrasive, and though it's no longer politically correct to call assertive Black women "uppity," it's still quite common for people to think it.
Obama's a brilliant orator whose intellectual depth crackles like electricity. He has a calming demeanor and quiet but elegant dignity.
But his liabilities will provide the GOP with enough to frighten the bejeebers out of Americans who still are new to thinking it just might be okay to be Black in America.
If he gets past the Clinton's political maneuvering and wins the nomination, we will witness the most relentless, hate-filled scare tactics ever inflicted by the GOP on a Democratic presidential candidate in America's history.
I'm not sure he can survive it because he's still a rookie at hardball federal politics. He has shown too much delicacy and resentment when Camp Hillary has come at him, and he has made the critical error of crying racism far too many times this early in the process.
I'm all for Obama being our next president, but if he loses to McCain because the GOP successfully diminishes him to dust, I'm going to be one pissed off American.
Hillary's proximity to Bill has most certainly taught her how to deflect GOP hardball tactics. She's a bitch who dishes back whatever is dished at her. She is hardened by fire. She is a respected Senator because she worked hard and humbly asked for guidance from senior senators on both sides of the aisle.
In short, I think she's tough enough and politically savvy enough to win the race.
Alas, I have some grave doubts about Obama having the toughness he'll need to survive the guttersniping and innuendo the GOP will surely launch at him.