Dyke Drudgery/Dyke Drama

I have a friend online who is stuck in a relationship with a dictator. She has no privacy, she has her e-mail read, and she is not allowed friends unless they meet with her lover's impossible criteria.
My friend is the breadwinner while her lover sits at home and micromanages their lives. The lover is in an industry where the least bit of initiative could result in a lucrative career, yet she seemingly prefers to stay home and make sure nobody penetrates their fortress- or her lover.
A love based on jealousy, insecurity and unreasonable demands is not love, it's control. Often the controller has no control over her own life, so she finds it easier to control others.
The mystery is why the victim stays.
I guess even a strait jacket provides some warmth.