Saturday, August 24, 2002

Egads, What a Night!

I have decided I want to be a tech rep for AOL.
They don't have to actually know anything and they can tell you whatever they like because you'll never find them again if they told you the wrong thing to do.
Here's how my 9th call to AOL last night sounded:

Me: Okay, I reinstalled AOL but my bookmarked files are gone.
AOL Tech: What do you mean by gone?
Me: They aren't there.
AOL Tech: They aren't where?
Me: They aren't where they are supposed to be.
AOL Tech: Do you know where they are?
Me: Sir, If I knew where they are, I wouldn't have called.
AOL Tech: Look in your data file, they will be there.
Me: I am looking in my date file, they aren't there.
AOL Tech: Uhh, it sounds like they were corrupted files and when you reinstalled AOL they must have eliminated themselves because they were corrupted.
Me: They were fine until your colleague must have told me the wrong thing to do.
AOL Tech: Oh no, they must have been corrupted somehow or they'd be there.
Me: Well let's find them then, shall we?
AOL Tech: Are you on a Mac?
Me: Yes that's why I called the 1-888 Mac AOL tech support number.
AOL Tech: I see. So, what's probably happened is the file got corrupted.
Me: Either that or some tech told me the wrong thing to do.
AOL Tech: No, it would be a corrupted file.
Me: So there's no way some tech just screwed up and had me delete something I needed?
AOL Tech: No it was a corrupted file.
Me: How do you know it wasn't just some idiot who told me to delete the wrong thing?
AOL Tech: Because the file must have been corrupted.
Me: Can we do a search or some damn thing to see if they just got stuck somewhere?
AOL Tech: Not with a corrupted file, no.
Me: Maybe it's just a misplaced file?
AOL Tech: Not if it was corrupted, and it sounds like this was a corrupted file.
Me: So, basically, what you are telling me is, five years of bookmarked sites are gone, is that about it?
AOL Tech: If a file is corrupted it's generally assumed to be gone because it was corrupted.
Me: Okay, so the bottom line is, I am, what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah, SCREWED.
AOL Tech: The bottom line is, your file was corr-
Me: Stop!! Goodnight!

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