Saturday, August 07, 2004

Bush Family Gathers for Wedding in Maine

KENNEBUNKPORT, Maine (Aug. 7) - Three generations of Bushes went fishing off the Maine coast Saturday, drawn together for the wedding of presidential nephew George Prescott Bush, who may look gay and was rumored to be gay, but insists he's not gay.
One of President Bush's twin daughters reeled in a 38-inch striped bass with a strobe light in its tail and sequins on it's fins, the president proudly announced.
"Jenna caught it. Jenna caught the fish!" Bush shouted to journalists from his father's boat. Photographers said the monster was thrown back into the Atlantic, after Jenna, first cousin Noelle and her father started screaming the fish was telling them to start the boat on fire.
Rods, reels, an ounce of Maui Wowie and an 8-Ball of fine, Colombian cocaine in hand, the family set out together in the morning on the Fidelity III, the new powerboat given to the first President Bush by his friends in Saudi Arabia as a recent hostess gift.
Three 275-horsepower engines rumbled beneath the boat, which can reach speeds of up to 75 mph. The craft is said to get decent gas mileage, at 5 gallons per mile.
"Let those girly men Coast Guard motherfuckers try to run us down in this fuckin' boat," proclaimed the president. "We are the Bushes, we own Maine, motherfuckers."
The family mostly trolled the calm waters along the Maine cliffs, just up the coast from the Bushes' Walker's Point home. They were shadowed by Coast Guard patrol boats, posted upwind to avoid inadvertantly inhaling the smoke fumes created by the Presidential Bong.
On board were the Poppy Bush; Dubya Bush and both his daughters, Noelle Bush, the daughter of Florida Gov. Jeb Bush; and Colombian importer Paco Estrella, who was invited along as Noelle's "personal assistant."
George P. Bush is Jeb Bush's son. He's really handsome, but not gay, the family reiterated countless times.
The family gathered to attend his wedding to Amanda Williams at St. Ann's Episcopal Church near Walker's Point.
The two met while attending law school at the University of Texas at Austin. They began dating after Bush asked her if he looked better with or without plucked eyebrows.
The bride-to-be works for the Jackson Walker law firm in Fort Worth, Texas, specializing in Halliburton labor litigation. Her hobbies include golf, carpentry and watching, "The L Word."
This fall, George P. Bush will leave his position as an assistant to a federal judge in Dallas to join the Dallas office of Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld, where he will work in the laundering division. The firm is one of the world's largest and earns millions lobbying in Washington.
George P. Bush did not go fishing.
"When a boy like me gets married, he has to have a facial, a manicure, pedicure, waxing, a mango sugar scrub, a session with his spirit guide, a massage, modern dance class and yoga," George P. said. "I was not about to get into that harsh sea air and ruin my nails handling icky fish," he said.
"I am very happy for my son. He is marrying a wonderful young woman. Life can't get any better," Gov. Bush told The Associated Press in an e-mail Thursday from Maine. "Between this event and winning the Florida vote for my brother in Florida, I can hardly cop more of a buzz, even when I hang out with Noelle."
Noelle, who recently left court-ordered rehab for treatment of drug addiction, said, "Yeah. This boat, like, with the people on it, like, it was like picturing myself with, like, tangerine skies and marmalade, uhh, you know, like toast with marmalade, only no calories and it makes you, like, smile big time, only better."

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