Friday, August 27, 2004

Jenna and Barbara do the Convention

If President Bush's twin daughters are seeking helpful hints before they enter the glaring spotlight of the Republican National Convention, the Reagan kids have some great advice:

1. Be sure there are no traces of cocaine around your nostrils, but if you forget, tell the media you just had some confectioner's sugar donuts
2. Hide the tequila in a plastic sports water bottle
3. Try not to use the F word
4. Keep gum or mints on hand to hide the liquor/pot fumes
5. Avoid answering questions with the word "whatever"
6. Try not to flip the bird
7. Don't refer to the vice president as, "that Dick" or to your father as, "Dumb-ass"
8. Don't burst out laughing or roll your eyes if anyone asks you about enlisting in the military
9. Don't refer to your mother as, "the Stepford mom"
10. Don't ask the butler to bring you ketchup for any meals you eat in public

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