The GOP Sez:
THANK YOU GUSTAV!!
Oh, how happy the GOP and McCain must be that Hurricane Gustav has come along to give them an excuse to truncate their shitty convention.
Hallelujah! Bush and Dick won't be on hand to make their embarrassing speeches!
Yahoo! The media won't have the chance to show a convention filled with doddering old slobs in straw hats amidst a bunch of empty seats.
OMG! Does this mean we will be deprived of their exciting roster of speakers and entertainment?
Here's what we might be missing:
Tony Orlando: sings "Tie a Yellow Ribbon" in tribute to returning war vets
Wilfred Brimley: Gives a rousing address about how McCain's presidency will cleanse the American spirit as well as Quaker oatmeal cleanses the bowels
The Beach Boys: sing their updated classic, "Bomb Bomb Iran"
Joe Lieberman: Speaks about how Zeb Miller was right to loathe Democrats
Anita Bryant: Sings her new hit, "God Bless the Red States"
The Rev. Fred Phelps: On how teh gays are ruining marriage, families and America in general
...and speaking of phony GOP assholes, look at this pic and tell me who you think has the look of someone who just had a baby: