Sunday, September 07, 2008

My Good Buddy, the PUMA



I have a good friend I've known since she was 24. Elaine's 41 now and a very successful art director, hilarious, liberal, lesbian and all around Hillary supporter.
Last Thursday night, she and our friend Susan and I had dinner at Tong's Thai restaurant after Elaine had had a horrendous day at work. She was in a scrappy mood, and we know not to rile her when she's that way.
As the conversation turned to current events, I was appalled to hear her waxing eloquently about Sarah Palin's speech.
Alas, she's doing some work for my company that I need to get done very rapidly, so not wanting to piss her off, I had to bite my tongue and listen to her rhapsodize about Palin's wit, her gigantic balls and her general hotness.
Palin's magic seemed to be working on someone I would have thought impervious to that kind of rhetorical bullshit.
I looked askance at Susan and quietly asked, "What the fuck is up with this?"
Susan said, "Oh she's still pissed about Hillary not winning."

Yep. Elaine's a PUMA. And she's a voter. And I was worried.

Fast forward to last night.
Elaine had endured some minor surgery on Friday and she was home convalescing.
I shopped at the fabulous H-E-B Central Market for some dinner things to take to her. I got chicken salad, couscous, cole slaw, pita bread, mixed berries and some whipped cream. Mmm.
As we sat at her kitchen table eating, she said, "That Sarah Palin is a fucking asshole!"
Surprised, I said, "Oh? What makes you say that?"
Then she recited a list of talking points that thrilled me down to my toes. She had gotten the message, and she doesn't even have cable TV!
Seems she listens to liberal talk radio on satellite all day as she works. And they convinced her that Palin was indeed a fucking asshole.

So, my friends, it doesn't matter how people get the message, whether it's US Weekly and the Enquirer, CNN, MSNBC, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, the New York Times, blogs or liberal talk radio...the message is getting out.

While I was at H-E-B Central Market, I told the cute little bag boy how much I liked his fauxhawk haircut. He began to strut and preen like the adorable little peacock he was.
I said, "I bet the girls go crazy after you, but you better not vote for McCain or Palin or else you're gonna end up drafted and getting shot in Iraq!"
He looked shocked, so I pounced. "Yeah, word is they're gonna start the draft and come after kids just like you and them" (I pointed to the young female check-out girls nearby).
He replied, "For reals?"
And I said, "Oh yeah, for reals, and furthermore, if you go out and get one of your many little girlfriends pregnant, there will be no more abortion."
His eyes got as big as moonpies.
He had thought Palin was a babe and for some, that's enough to merit a vote.
Well, not anymore, not this kid.
Heh, heh, heh.

16 comments:

Fran said...

That is a scary story but with a good ending.

And I urge the Karen Zipdrive juggernaut to roll on at the HEB and elsewhere.

When are you bringing me food?

Anonymous said...

I am so glad that Elaine got the message. The only thing that Palin shares with most feminists is a chromosome.

I love it that you're out spreading the word. The Dancer was invited to write a pro-Obama piece for her school newspaper. I'm going to put a bumper sticker on my car and I'll volunteer in my community any way I can.

I agree with you, the message has to get out to counteract the misinformation or no information such as it were regarding Palin.

Anonymous said...

That sick feeling you got before Elaine woke up is the feeling I was talking about when I went to lunch with my Palin loving g'friends. Suddenly I didn't know or like them.

Anyway, you did a good job on the HEB kids. Unfortunately you were probably telling the entire truth.

Have you heard the rumor that Hillary herself is going to speak up publicly against Palin this week?

Robert Rouse said...

I've always said that more important than ads and more important than speeches is education of the voters. Speaking with the bag boy is a great example. We should all do our part every opportunity we get to educate the masses. If you have liberal radio in your car or home, turn it on when you have a rider or guest who needs an ed-ju-mu-ka-shun.

enigma4ever said...

ahhh, so people are listening and paying attention...thank heavens...finally..thanks for sharing this....phew..

Distributorcap said...

from your blog to her highness above ears...

it is weird living in uber liberal manhattan you dont hear a lot -- i walked in union sq and they had sarah palin is a douche buttons....

Matthew Hubbard said...

I think a lot of people are going to see her as the mean popular girl who made their lives hell in high school. Some people think it's fun or funny, but they make more enemies than friends in the long run.

Let's just hope sixty days turns out to be the long run.

Anonymous said...

i love going into stores and banks and making snide remarks about chimpy when i am at the checkout or the teller's window, and i always make sure i am loud enough for other people around me to hear. i always try to throw in a little sound byte that i know the person i am speaking to will take to his/her friends. i add a little and didya hear... that has a fact that i learned that i know most people have not yet heard. the rethugs have their whisper campaigns that are very effective, so we need to have our own. the only difference is that we tell the truth. the rethugs just make shit up.

Unknown said...

Have I told you lately that I love you?

Holy shit. This is the most uplifting thing I've read all day.

I have fun like that in the supermarket too. Albertson's is used to it.

Unknown said...

Bigsis, that is GREAT news. How can any legitimate PUMA or Hillary supporter go for her after that?

I find it so galling (again, how stupid do they think we are?) that the GOP has the fucking nerve to brag that Ms. Moosemeat is the first FEMALE VP CANDIATE when the dems did it what, 30 years ago? SO HOW IS THAT PROGRESS?

GOP Land = Opposite Land. I like not to visit.

Anonymous said...

Drat. I went to a football watching party at my company's Finace VP's house today and ran into a mess of McCain supporters.
The listened politely as I listed why he's a pandering duplicate of George W. Bush and how Palin is Cheney with a flatter chest.
They cannot explain why they support him, they just do.
Living in Texas can be a major headache sometimes, but I may have convinced at least one of them to vote for Obama and lie about it later.
;)

Unknown said...

RIP RIP TEAR TEAR


AND

Insult her shoes.

Unknown said...

Uh oh... + holy fuck:

"NBC Removes Olbermann From "Election" Anchor Seat 08 Sep 2008 After months of [GOP] accusations of political bias and simmering animosity between MSNBC and its parent network NBC, the channel decided over the weekend that the NBC News correspondent and MSNBC host David Gregory [?!?] would anchor news coverage of the coming debates and election night. Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews will remain as analysts during the coverage... As Mr. Olbermann raised his voice, his ratings rose as well, and he now reaches more than one million viewers a night, a higher television rating than any other show in the troubled 12-year history of the network."

David Gregory? Really? The one that did the shimmy with KKKarl Rove at the correspondent's dinner and has been licking their asses ever since?

Unknown said...

Counteracting the Rethug spin machine isn't going to b easy based on the fact that those fucktards will lie their ever-lovin asses off about Palin and what she stands for.

People will buy it..no doubt about it..So KZ telling a few white lies doesnt bother me in the least...fuck it..the gloves are off in the blogosphere at least.

Anonymous said...

helen, I heard about Olberman and Mathews this morning too and was appalled. All my black friends love Olberman so I contacted them and encouraged them to let NBC know how upset they were by the removal.

Mathews probably got in trouble for not being able to control his giggling about what was going on at the RNC. And when Chris and James Carville get together to discuss Palin and the R's generally, they crack each other up so much they can't control themselves.

Unknown said...

bigsis, good to know. Thanks for passing it on.

Matthews really is a little giggling idiot, in general, isn't he? Still, it is funny that he actually was laughing at the RNC. Can't say I can blame him as it was such a big joke.