Thanks, Sarah Palin!
With her boundless confidence and ability to create experience and know-how out of whole cloth, I started thinking about things I can do that, using Palin's logic, make me an expert!
-I can send e-mail and I'm a blogger, therefore I am an IT expert.
-I know when my shoes hurt my feet so that makes me a podiatrist.
-I have dated a lot of women so that makes me a gynecologist.
-I love to give advice so call me a psychotherapist.
-I mow my lawn occasionally, so I am a landscape architect.
-I balance my checkbook so call me an economist.
-I go grocery shopping so that makes me a consumer expert.
-I can cook so call me Chef Karen, and my home Chez Zipdrive.
-I take care of my cats so I'm a veterinarian.
-I drive fast so that makes me a professional racer.
-I give political opinions so call me an editorialist or pundit.
-I arranged my own furniture so that makes me an interior decorator.
-I manage all my own prescription drugs so call me a pharmacist.
-I live 250 miles from Mexico so I am a foreign policy expert.
-I own three pieces of gym equipment so that makes me a fitness trainer.
-I have friends in New York so that makes me a 9-11 victim.
-I can roll a decent joint, so call me a drug czar.
-I change light bulbs so that makes me a building superintendent.
-I give old clothes to charity so call me a philanthropist.
-I know how to light fireworks so that makes me a rocket scientist.
I'd list more things but I have to go to work, so that makes me an efficiency expert.