Monday, May 25, 2009

Fuck You, Chase Bank

Cannon balls always roll faster downhill. After countless phone calls and an impassioned e-mail plea to Chase's top banana, I got them to waive the late fee AND reduce the interest rate from 29.9% APR to a manageable 13.24%. It's still 3 points higher than it was, but at least I no longer feel raped. Just fondled.

I pay all my bills on time.
I even keep up with credit card companies pulling the switcharoo and changing due dates, hoping to trip us up so they can hit us with late fees.
I pay my bills online, so I can tell at a glance who's been paid and who's due.
This month as I was paying the last of my bills, the water bill and phone bill, I noticed my Chase VISA card had not been paid.
I frantically searched through my pile of paid and unpaid bills and there was no Chase bill. The bill never came. That goddamn postman with Rush Limbaugh playing on his transistor radio did not deliver the bill!
So I called Chase on May 17 and discovered the bill was due that very day. The dunce I spoke with said paying over the phone would cost me $29, so I should go to their website and send them an e-mail explaining the situation.
I've never been late on a payment and I had a 10% APR.
So I wrote them an impassioned e-mail, explaining that the bill never arrived.
The reply I received that same day basically said wait and see what they decide when the next statement comes.
It came on Saturday.
Get this.
They assessed me a $100 late fee and jacked up my 10% interest rate to 29 fucking percent. Twenty-nine percent interest is what I thought ex-convicts and deadbeats paid.
BigSis was with me when I opened the bill. She mentioned the Attorney General's Consumer Protection branch- that I should call them and have them lean on Chase if I can't convince them to stop with the sodomy.
Like everyone, I've heard about credit card companies fucking consumers at every turn. This is the first time they've fucked me. I do not like uninvited fucks.
What's to stop these crooks from intentionally not sending bills and catching people up in this fuckery? Nothing.
I hate Chase Bank. I didn't even choose a Chase card, it used to be a WaMu card but Chase gobbled them up.
If any of my readers are aspiring bank robbers, please hit Chase Bank first.
And pistol whip the manager.
Thank you.


nonnie9999 said...

usury used to be a crime. now, it's a reward for credit card companies that line the pockets of politicians. the only credit card i owe anything on is my lowe's card. however, i have a year with no payment due and no interest accrued for the washer/dryer i bought there. i intend to pay it off before the year is up. i don't buy anything on a credit card unless i know i can pay it off before the due date. the only reason i even use them for big purchases is to protect myself if there is something wrong with the items.

i despise the credit card companies.

Anonymous said...

They couldn't do anything for you the day you called because it was your due date. If you call them now they will put your interest rate back and remove the late fee. If not, ask for a supervisor.

(A more than happy former bank employee)

Karen Zipdrive said...

God, I hope that works, Sue.
That interest rate makes me want to tell them to take their bill and shove it, then just let them try to sue me for it.

Comrade E.B. Misfit said...

Bank of America slashed my credit limit for no reason I know of. So I slashed my use of their credit card to a recurring $11/month payment.

Fuck them all. Like you, I didn't want a BoA card, but I have one thanks to bank mergers.

BoA sucks the fur right off a dead dog. After your robbers hit Chase, they should knock over BoA.

bigsis said...

I've had an imposed BofA Visa for a long time too. I'm never late, I always pay more than what's due, and I use my card regularly so I'm a tasty tidbit for them. But even so, I got a letter saying they're going to raise my beloved ongoing 5.9% interest rate to 10% plus the cost of living index or some such bullshit. I could accept the new interest by just using my Visa, or I could reject it in a letter to them. Of course, if I reject, they close my account that I've had for 15 yrs and my credit rating would drop because old accounts increase to your FICO score. Fuck 'em. I'm paying off the whole account even if I have to eat lunch at my desk every day like a rat.

BTW, I read that more people are using debit rather than credit cards so the banks are cooking up some diabolical plans to fuck us on those prepared.

Lisa said...

I really hope you get it sorted out. What a pain in the neck.

Karen Zipdrive said...

This morning I called Chase and got a nice Indian gentleman on the phone who listened to my shpiel and politely told me, "we have no program currently which can help you I am sorry."
Supervisor, please.
"supervisor cannot give you answer different than which I have given you I am sorry."
Supervisor, please.
After sitting through one Kenny G song and all of "Monday, Monday," yet another nice Indian man comes on the phone and listens to my shpiel.
"we are unable to grant your request via phone. in order to get your request heard you must contact our executive customer service manager deborah sperling."
What's her number?
"we do not have a number for her."
What's her e-mail address?
"we do not have an e-mail address for her."
What's her snail mail address?
"that would be executive director- senior executive customer service relations manager deborah sperling at 2819 elgin boulevard in shapeshifter, MI."
I have to write her an actual letter?
"you do indeed. please have a nice day miss zipdrive and thank you for choosing chase."

So now I gotta write a fucking letter. By hand.
Can you beleieve these fucking hoops?

Sue said...

That's unbelievable! What a bunch of horseshit. Just ordinary customer service reps at Citibank have the authority to refund late fees and such. Good grief. What a pain in the ass. I would transfer that balance to a different card and close it unless you've had it for years. If you've had it for years, your credit score could take a slight hit.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Sue, it really is unbelievable.
They were so on-script I bet they have laminated sheets to read from so they don't wear out.
I do plan to transfer the balance and I don't care if my credit takes a little hit. Chase isn't getting any more of my money, those slimy crooks.
And miss deborah sperling can kiss my ass.

Sue said...

Good, I'm glad. It won't take that much of a hit and it'll so be worth it. Just choose wisely.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Alas, I filled out some form or called some number and put an end to the 60 daily pieces of junk mail from credit card companies advising me I could transfer my balance for assorted amazing low interest rates.
Now I gotta find a good company- which means no Capital One.
And suggestions?

Sue said...

The industry is in such a state of flux, but I like Bank of America and the Discover card. American Express is good as it now offers a product that doesn't require that the balance be paid in full every month if that were an issue. But not everywhere takes AE. Just shop around and you'll know which one is best for your needs. I'd do it online too as many card companies offer exclusive introductory rates via the web.

Gua said...

Karen, those days are over. good luck finding any interest rate lower than 10%. I had a 3.9% lifetime guarenteed yanked on me just because. Like you I was never late...blah blah ....they upped the interest rate, increased the minimum payment from 2% to 5% and started charging a $10 "just because they can fee". I called them just like you and all I got was the party line. I was so pissed but there was not a thing I could do but pay it off. So that is what I did. Fuck'em!!

Karen Zipdrive said...

Hrumph. I Googled the e-mail address for Deborah whatzername and dashed off an e-mail asking her to back off on the Somali pirate interest rate.
If she refuses, fuck her and the horse who rode in on her.
I'll dump Chase faster than Mel Gibson's Pinko mail order bride.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Read the update at the top of the post. YAY! Score one for us schlimazels!

Fran said...

More of an advencha than you had bargained for. Those scum buckets. Because in 9 months new regs will hit, the credit card companies are falling all over themselves to up interest rates, increase fines- just because they can.
FWIW- Suzy Oramn sez #1 thing to do in this economy-- get rid of credit card debt.
I'm workin on it Suzy.....

Sue said...

Well, I'm glad you got it semi resolved. I suppose a fondle is always better than an uninvited poke. Egads.

Karen Zipdrive said...

It's resolved as far as I'm concerned. I can accept 13 percent and they dismissed the late fee, so I think it came out pretty well.