Sunday, May 24, 2009

The Ultimate Comfort Food?

Call me perverse, but I have recurrent daydreams about what foods I'd ask for for my last meal, like if I were on death row or something final like that.
My last meal daydreams were nearly ruined when I saw a prison kitchen show and they interviewed the head cook about death row inmates' last meal requests.
Turns out they can only make what's on hand, no live lobster flown in from Maine, no Omaha beef, no sashimi catered by Uchi, my favorite Japanese fusion restaurant in the world, no Belgian chocolate mousse cake, no Ranier cherry cobbler.
After that show, I had to really scale back my last meal menu.
Today, that fantasy includes a perfectly made bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich.
I don't like fussy BLT's. One should not fuck with perfection.
No fancy whole grain bread, no turkey bacon, no field greens, hydroponic heirloom tomatoes or handmade garlic aoili. Just the basics, please.

My recipe:

2 slices family style white bread, toasted
3 slices hickory smoked bacon, fried medium crisp
1 large leaf iceberg lettuce, very green and crisp
2 thin slices of sweet tomato--bitter ones will not do
2 schmears of Hellman's mayonnaise, one schmear per bread slice

fry the bacon, drain
toast the bread
schmear bread with mayo
add lettuce to one slice, add tomatoes to top of lettuce, top with bacon.
Put the second slice of bread of top, then slice at an angle.


Utah Savage said...

I agree about the perfect BLT. We have exactly the same recipe.

One thing I have never fantasized about is the perfect "last meal." I sometimes dream about food and then get up and make the thing I dreamed about. That's one of my greatest small pleasures.

nonnie9999 said...

good choice in sandwich and in mayo. it has to be hellman's (since i'll be going straight to death row and won't have to worry about calories). none of that miracle whip shit. bleh! it's a miracle anyone buys it!

some lay's potato chips on the side would be nice, too.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I agree with potato chips but not the Lay's brand per se. They are a little too salty for me. I prefer a grocery store brand we have here.
The other day I had a BLT, a few chips and a garnish of 3 black olives and three tiny sweet gherkins. They weren't right for the dish- too strongly flavored.

Lisa said...

Mmmmm. BLT.The mouth waters.

Fran said...

I don't know, that recipe exceeds my culinary skills!

Loves to eat/hates to cook.

Lulu Maude said...

the bread should have sesame seeds for true perfection. bacon should be applewood smoked. and why not romaine over iceberg?? greener.

it's probably good to have a last meal request on file in your execution-crazy state... every texan ought to plan ahead.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Lulu-romaine on a BLT? Foggeddabouddit.
Hey, I was all set to dispute your Texas execution remark by saying Dick Fairy has executed far fewer people than Bush, but imagine my shock to discover sadistic Rick the Prick has okayed 200 executions over Bush's 152.
Jeb Bush only snuffed out 20 human lives while he was governing Florida.
Maybe I better keep planning my last meal--ya never know.

Michael Hart said...

Shit. Now I have to have a BLT. I got the bacon, I got the lettuce, I got the Hellman's; but there's not a fucking tomato anything withing 5 miles of my house. So I checked the BLT bylaws, and it says in extreme circumstances where one key ingredient is missing, i.e., the tomato, a red cherry pepper may be used without committing a BLT felony.
WOOHOO! Lunchtime!

Karen Zipdrive said...

Whoa, Michael, wait one minute.
I am not a huge fan of tomatoes, so that's why my recipe includes only two very thin slices.
I find that their acidity tends to overpower the smoky goodness of the bacon, so a thick slice is out of the question.
Substituting a red cherry pepper, in my opinion, is flirting with disaster. Maybe a roasted pepper that's been slightly caramelized in the process would work, but I have concerns about using peppers in general.
In your shoes, I'd go ahead and enjoy a BL without the T. I think the results are very good, and the main issue with omitting the T is the sacrifice in color.
Let me know what you decided.

Anonymous said...

I prefer a Wasabi Borscht, a soup made with beets, onions, cabbage, garlic, brown sugar, vinegar, salt, and a healthy shot of wasabi.

As per sandwich, let it be a Reuben with lots of saurkraut and mustard on the darkest possible Rye. Don't forget the EXTRA LARGE PICKLE.

Wash it down with Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout.

If your stomach cannot handle the acidity,follow with a bicarbonate of soda chaser.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I like borscht. But the wasabi add-on, I can do without.
I love Reubens too, but they require too many ingredients that only serve that one purpose and usually end up going to waste. I prefer to order them in delis and avoid the hassle of making them at home.
And if you ask me, a proper Reuben requires Russian dressing, not mustard.
But you got the dark rye right. The darker the better.