Sunday, May 24, 2009

The Nerve of This Guy

After flapping his evil gums about rejecting federal stimulus money and having Texas secede from the nation, Texas Governess Dick Perry has been flip flopping like a hungry dolphin at Sea World.
First, he whined to the Feds that Texas needed a shitload of free swine flu vaccine.
Yeah, Dick, if Texas seceded where would we get that, from our Mexican allies? Maybe an online Canadian pharmacy?
Now...get this.
In June of last year, an arsonist set fire to the Governor's Mansion. We're talking a four-alarm blaze, with almost all of the gorgeous structure either burnt, charred or smoke damaged.
The Perry's weren't home at the time--he was probably in some no-tell motel with one of his boy toys and she was probably wherever rich beards get to live on their faggot husband's dimes.
Several celebrities like Sandra Bullock, LeAnn Rimes, Nolan Ryan and George Strait appeared on TV ads in Texas begging for donations to help restore the mansion, but I imagine not many of us Texans were inclined to fork over dough while Perry is in office.
Though the arsonist has not been found, how far is it a stretch to believe he wanted Rick Perry to be served up extra crispy?
Failing to convince Texans to pony up restoration dough, the Governess has asked that Federal money, 11 million dollars of Federal money, be set aside for restoration on the mansion.
Hey, I'm all for restoring the mansion, but not with Perry having keys to the front door. I think it'd just be burnt again with that turd living in it.
I wish Obama would have had a news conference and mentioned that Perry's wish for Texas to secede has been momentarily sidelined until Federal funds for the mansion can be secured.
Meanwhile, I hope the powers that be delay the restoration project until after Perry's been ousted from office and evicted from the mansion. No sense rebuilding the place with Perry's obviously bad juju.


Fran said...

That's right! Get government off our backs, unnecessary intervention, taxation without representation, hold up there! .... we need help & we need money, we will resume our regularly scheduled rant in a bit.

Might the Guvnah's mansion go into foreclosure in a dirt cheap distress sale as a fixer?

Karen Zipdrive said...

Actually, we Texans love our public buildings. From the Alamo to the Capitol, we take good care of them and appreciate their architecture and history.
Perry's regime, followed by Bush as governor, has not erased the tenure of Ann Richards and other Texas good guys.
The mansion was her house, too.
It needs to be restored for her sake. Yes? Yes!

Fran said...

OK so now you just have to figure out a way to oust Perry as Guv.

bigsis said...

Rick Perry, the Welfare Queen of Texas, is freeloading off the state in a $9,900 a month, 6386 ft mansion with a heated pool, on 3.25 acres while the gov's mansion is being restored. No children, just him and Anita. Texas put aside $10million for the rebuild but Perry's rent comes out of that, plus all his other expenses, bottom line is the "state" spent that $10million, that's why the Welfare Queen wants federal $$ stim money now.

The house is being rented from the daughter of a major Perry contributor too - I could go on about this all day.

I hate Huckabee but at least that bastard lived in a trailer and cooked squirrel in a popcorn popper while they rebuilt the Arkansas Gov's mansion (or wherever he's from). Queen Rick would die if he so much as got a little wrinkle in his overly starched Wrangler's.

If Kaye Bailey can't beat this asshole she doesn't deserve to be the next Governor.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I'm no native Manhattanite, but I have a hunch 10 grand a month could rent you a pretty nice apartment in a posh area of NYC.
So basically, we Texans are shelling out $120,000 extra a month for this worthless son of a bitch.
I hope Kay Bailey hands him his head come election time. She's no prize but at least she's not him.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

What a douchebag.

nonnie9999 said...

can someone explain to me why the taxpayers of other states should be responsible for rebuilding a mansion that belongs to the state of texas? by the way, doesn't the state believe in property insurance?

Karen Zipdrive said...

I hadn't thought about the insurance angle, Nonnie. That's an excellent question.
Maybe the idiots just had it insured for the price it took to build it, which was probably $20,000 back in those days.

bigsis said...

Why would anyone need insurance when you have suckers, I mean taxpayers, to pick up the tab?

The Mansion isn't the most beautiful or grand building anyway, so the state went to the University of Texas, which has the largest endowment in the country, and said the Chancellor's House would make a better Governor's Mansion, can we have it? HAHAHA, UT has more money that the whole state of Texas.

Karen Zipdrive said...

HAHAHA! Like the Chancellor of UT would give up his digs so Perry could turn it into some closet gay bathhouse. Maybe Bette Midler and Barry Manilow could show up there and serenade Dick Fairy and his little tub buddies.

Karen Zipdrive said...

P.S. Doesn't Perry look like he needs to wash his nasty face? All those creases must be filled with smegma, santorum* and other nasty bodily fluids that need to be scrubbed off.

*look it up, it's totally gross