Tuesday, May 26, 2009

New Feature!

A Editorial by Clyde Zipdrive

Karen Zipdrive's Republican Cousin!

Hey y'all.
I bet my cousin Karen Zipdrive that Governer Rick Perry would ask the federales for money to fix his mansion, and, I won. The prize was gettin to write me a editorial once in awhile on her blog. So here I am. LOL on her!!!
My subject this go round is this Sonya Sotomaria, the mexican gal who Hussein Obama says is fit to be in The Supreme Court.
Well I beg to differ.
What we dont need is a mexican gal making no laws in the United States.
*She will make it legal for wetbacks to come and go as they please over the boarder, bringing the mexican swine flew with them. Is that what you want? Hell no!!!
*Women is already got enough rights in The United states and we dont need them making the rules because one day she might be on the rag or something and press the red button and blow us all to hell and back. I kid you not.
*Women dont like guns and she will see to it ours is taken away. Then onley criminals will have them and that-ll make a world of trouble for all y'all.
*We do not need the supreme court cafeteria smellin like rice and beans all the goddurned time. Them mexicans cant go one day without them beans and rice and tortillas and all. And Its not American.
*Also to, this woman is from New York so shes a yankee mexican which makes her even worser. Shes not only a mexican with too big a britches, shes a new Yorkian mexican which makes her loud as a New York Jew or Eyetalian and we dont need none of that.
*George W. awready tried to get us a nice white lady to be on the supreme court by the name a Harryett Miers and if she wasnt good enough then why should we accept a mexican gal? We should NOT!!!
*We alreddy have a libral negroe in the white house, so thats enough minoritys in power. Like i tolt my cousin KZ, watch and see, you let one of them in and its like cockaroaches in a kitchin, theyll be bringing all they cousins and mammas and tias and tios and the whole shootin match with em.
*And the last thing we need is a supreme saying its okay for queers to get married to each other. Whats next, a man marrying a tractor or a horse? If a woman dont want to marry a man or visa versa, then they can live alone and read there Bibles to keep "em warm at night.
I keep tellin cousin Karen that she just aint met the right man yet, but, she tells me she better off just a staying at home + readin her Bible.
Then she starts to gigglin like shes been in the tequila bottle. Maybe her boyfriend is Jose Cuervo, who the hell knowes??
*But the main thing is, we dont need a mexican gal being one of the supremes. I think that one jewish gal who looks like a old libarian is way more than enough. The men judges dont need another gal nagging them to make there desisions on the courts.
Okay I gotta run now. God bless yall, and, mostly GOD BLESS TEXAS!!!

Clyde Zipdrive is a resident of the Sunny Skies Mobile Home Park in Cotulla, Texas, where he works as a freelance welder. He's a life-long Republican and NRA member. He met his ex-wife Zelma Lou when she was stripping at Mel's Bait Shop & Tavern in Brownsville. She left him in 1998, taking their twins, Clyde Junior and Brandi Kaye, and their other daughter, Tequila Jayne.
Clyde enjoys fishing, hunting and shooting pool. He collects gimme caps, shot glasses and beer cans from around the world.


Fran said...

KZ ~ Please pass the bottle of Jose Cuervo to me!
Tequila Sunrise, Amiga?

Karen Zipdrive said...

I wish I could recall how many dates I had with Jose back in the day. He used to be a friend of mine, then I met the Grey Goose!

Dusty said...

Ah..Grey Goose..my favorite!

Clyde..not so much. ;p

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Welcome Clyde. All opinions, even bad ones, need to be aired.

Karen Zipdrive said...

For God's sake don't encourage him, Monk.

Dawn on MDI said...

get dropped on his head when he was little, did he?

nonnie9999 said...

clyde's from the shallow end of the zipdrive family gene pool, huh?

Anonymous said...

Just back from my fishing trip. Talked to Mel last Friday. We talked about you, Karen.

Mel says he misses you and that you can come back to work for him at any time. He also said that ou were the best 32-AA Dancer he ever had.

Jim Earl

Karen Zipdrive said...

Oh, hey Jim Earl!
I talked to him on Monday. He said you make her nervous because you're always asking him if you can suck his dick.

Distributorcap said...

tell clyde her name is Maria Sotomayor