Tinsel on My T-shirt
I can't quite get in the Christmas mood when the weather is in the 70's. I like the weather, don't get me wrong, it's just not Christmas weather.

Unwelcome Wagon
I have a new next door neighbor. I haven't met him yet but I've heard him on his cell phone in the driveway that separates our homes. He talks way too loud, like he's new to cell phones. He's a single man.
I hope he doesn't turn out to be one of those creeps who do things that make the media come around and force me to have to say, "He was a quiet guy, kept to himself a lot, and I am totally shocked he turned out to be..."

Astrology for Lesbians
I am planning to blog an astrology piece so people can get a bead on their lesbian potentials and friends. It'll be wildly accurate and guaranteed to offend everyone at least once or twice. Stay tuned.

James the Kitten
My kitten James, just shy of his 4th month, is huge. He's about 9 pounds now, eats like a lumberjack, beats up his 14 pound big brother Bart, and is otherwise a big fat baby. He thinks he's so funny when he stomps over my bed and flops down with his anus about a half inch from my face.
The other day I had figure skating on TV and James watched every second of it. He was literally paws against the screen, trying to catch the skaters. He almost caught Rudy Galindo, but all the glitter must have temporarily blinded him.

Chanukah Savings
Now that the Jewish Canadian Gemini and I have split up and have no contact, I guess she won't be getting those eight Chanukah gifts after all. Damn, I'd planned to make her a special Chanukah Tampon angel and now I have all this blue and white glitter for nothing. With Chanukah only five days away, I can forget about finding another Jewish lover to give an angel. Oh vell, nothing to get shpilkes about.

News Anchor, Pervert
ABC affiliate KSAT former news anchor Gerry Grant was arrested several months ago for receiving kiddy porn photos in an area motel. Word is he was doing fantasy child molesting with his favorite prostitute. Further word is he was actually going down to Mexico and having sex with little girls. Allegedly, the hooker turned him in because his fantasies were starting to include killing a child after having sex with her.
Now awaiting trial, he's working at a chic bakery called "Broadway Daily Bread."
I wouldn't want his nasty hands on my buns.