You say Osama, I say Oksana...

Osama bin Laden, Oksana Baiyul- even if I can't be bothered to check if I spelled her name correctly, note the similarity in first names. Both the terrorist and figure skater are bitches, if you ask me.
I haven't met the cave dweller, but I did meet the skater, backstage at the Alamodome, after one of those figure skating extravaganzas.
All the other skater superstars gave me their autographs, even the tense, slightly horsefaced Nancy Kerrigan. But when I approached the Russian iceberg Oksana, she frowned and said, "Nyet." I said, "Nyet?' She replied, "Nyet." I said, "Da." She said, "Nyet" and walked away.
I asked Todd of Todd and Jenny what her deal was. He said, "She's a bitch is what her deal is."
Osama, meanwhile, said all the terrorists who died attacking the Pentagon and WTC will "get virgins in the afterlife."
That brings me to the age-old question, if dogs get cats in Heaven, are the cats in Hell?
I only know one thing for sure:
Three syllable names that start with O and end with A make for Class A losers, except for Olivia, which is four syllables.