Attorney General John Ashcroft: Why We Don't Like You Haiku

Blacks, gays, gals and Jews
We have a God, it ain't you
Jesus told me so

Assembly of God
The church that spawned John Ashcroft
Don't they handle snakes?

Asian religions
Make John Ashcroft quite nervous
"Choose Jesus or die"

If you kiss a lot
Before hetero marriage
That's a sin to John

Bare breasts are sinful
Even if they're made of bronze
And just size B cups

Church, state, separate
Except for John Ashcroft's view
He likes to mix them

So religious, John
When he gets really horny
Says, "I have risen."

Tough on terrorists!
That's what John says he's about
Where's Bin Laden, John?

Goofy terrorist named
Zacharius Moussaoui?
Still not convicted

The Constitution
Far too liberal for John
Old Testament? Yeah!