Monday, August 04, 2003

The Secret Diary of Pu-Say Hussein
Saddam's Unusual Daughter

My days have become nightmares with my father may Allah bash his head with one of his own large Lladro statuettes here at the palace.
As I mentioned last time, he is demanding I make him into a woman costume. I sewed for him a burqa and he raged at me because he said, "The shoulder pads were not big like Krystal's!" And he scream too that the wig I got for him from the concubine's costume room was brown and not blonde with large flips going back on the sides.
So confused was I.
It turns out father, may Allah stick caplets of Gingko Baloba far into his anal cavity, was confused when he said he wanted to look like evil american georgebush actress Joan Collins.
He meant to say evil american georgebush actress Linda Evans, and perhaps I should have known that because he has many, many beautiful portraits of her painted on black velvet in his private quarters, and his computer screen saver also he has her there too except I suspect her head is on someone else's naked body because this body has very large breasts large like soccer balls.
Quickly I had to enlarge the shoulder pads by using plush hand towels folded three times.
Then my concubines and I rapidly located the blonde wig with the large flips all around the head and father may Allah kick his shin until it splinters became red with angry and said, "Not Farrah wig, Krystal wig!"
We had to rush to find the proper wig, which we found in his sleeping chamber under his Yanni music recordings.
Finally he donned the correct wig and the burqa with the very large shoulder pads and commanded us to play the Yanni music while he swirled and swirled around the ballroom like a dervish, except as a female dervish which was very unsightly.
This has been going on for hours now may Allah make him very sleepy for a long long time.
I know not what to do and this music never seems go on to another song so the swirling continues without end and my head is pounding.
Allah, I beseech you, please do something.

No comments: