Greeters

I know Walmart employs old geezers to greet you as you walk in the door.
It's really kind of sweet and very much in keeping with their cornball image, so what the hell. I usually don't shop at Walmart anyway, but when I do I make it a point to try to get past them without eye contact.
What I cannot tolerate is the new grocery store down the street that uses greeters at the entrance and exit doors.
What is their function?
I don't need anyone to welcome me to a grocery store with a coupon page I just threw away from my mailbox that day, I just want to walk in, get my groceries and get out.
Next time the greeter smiles at me like a hyena and asks how I am doing today, I am tempted to tell her in excruciating detail what my morning glucose level was, whether I had a successful bowel movement that morning, how the cats were acting, then I'll finish it off with a chronological history of what I think went wrong with my last relationship.
Then I'll bitch a little about George W., just for good measure.

And the exit greeters *really* piss me off.
They always ask me, "Did you find everything you need?" and I always reply, "No. They didn't have any diet Canada Dry Ginger Ale."
They always get a mock concerned look on their face, then immediately look past me and ask the next stooge the same question.
They never have it in stock anymore, so why keep asking?
I'd rather they say, "Hey lady, we still don't have any Canada Dry diet Ginger Ale in stock because we really don't give a damn whether you are jonesing for it or not."
At least that would be honest.