Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Doomed to a Life of Soreness

I started working out with Willie in August. Scroll down, he's toward the bottom of the page wearing red posing panties.
I work out with him three times a week, and in between I ride my bicycle and do free weights just to keep from being too stiff to work out.
I figured after a few months I'd stop being in a state of perpetual soreness, but I'm not. Just as I get used to the routine, Willie adds weight or reps to make me sore again.
Alas, my polar bear midsection started to become apparent to him once the weather started warming up and my workout clothes became more revealing.
Now he's on to me to lose 2 pounds a week by "nutritional" means. That's fitness-ese for "stop eating so much, you hog."
Yesterday I had my first week weigh-in and lost the two pounds, so he upped it to 2.5 pounds. Can he do that?
After 49 years of free grazing and laying around, this fitness shit is exhausting.
It's like a bad drug. The high isn't that great but it's still addicting.
Eclair and I bought a 10-pound medicine ball over the weekend. We threw it back and forth, aiming at each other's abs, at least 100 times. It's sort of like tossing a padded bowling ball back and forth, just to give you a sense of the weight.
If someone told me last year I'd be spending a Sunday afternoon with a beautiful woman in a swimsuit, throwing a medicine ball at her abs instead of billing and cooing with her, I'd think they were crazy.

Okay, enough fitness.
Now those Satanic Bush lunatics are trying to say foreign dictators prefer Kerry.
So what?
Maybe they prefer trying to negotiate with someone whose NOT SUCH A TOTAL ASSHOLE.
See, the Rove Crowd wants to equate Kerry with evil foreign leaders.
Yes, they are that desperate.
But it's a stupid idea.
It's like saying, "Osama Bin Laden drinks Coke, so if you drink Coke you must have terrorist leanings."
Basically, the Barcodies of the world fall for shit like this. The Rove Crowd takes gullible people who live on hostility, fear and dread and capitalize on it.
Don't take my word for it, Barcodie's over on his commentless Blog spreading the Gospel of Karl Rove.
Hey Barcodie- Kerry looks kinda French!
The French didn't agree with Dubya's rush to war so WE KNOW they are evil!
Let's condemn that dictator's favorite, Kerry, for looking like one of them frog-eating, French faggots.

(fuckin' moron)

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