Wednesday, March 23, 2005

The Ridiculous and the Sublime:
The Sanctity of Marriage & Survivor Tonight!

Jeeze, for someone like Bush who did all that election year gay bashing under the guise of protecting the sanctity of marriage, he totally violated that sanctity when he tried to neutralize the marital rights of Michael Schiavo and turn the decision making process about removing his wife's feeding tube over to her mommy and daddy.
Anyone who fails to grasp the sheer gall and duplicity of Bush in this situation is, simply put, a fucking imbecile.
Michael Schiavo stuck with his wife for 15 years after she entered a near vegetative state, falling ill due to unchecked bulimia. He has a right to decide, he's her legal next of kin and he stuck by her long enough.
Even the polls say (by more than 80%) Bush was wrong to sign the bill that Congress was wrong to introduce.
It's a personal matter, you DC clowns.

Tonight on Survivor, something's gotta give. We all know by now, the Ulong tribe sucks harder than a Republican on a speed date with Jeff Guckert/Gannon.
Non-swimming Ibrehem, who should have been tossed overboard last week, was spared by the stew eating Koror tribe, leaving the few remaining imbeciles on Ulong to give frequent-challenge winner and our favorite superfreak Angie the boot instead of that redneck, aardvark-faced loser, James.
The only justice was the dual tribal council, where Koror got to do to Willard what he'd been doing to them this whole time.

No merge tonight, friends.
Instead, James will try to save his own pasty gooseflesh by aggressively reminding Ibe that he was once, twice, three times no matey during the last diving & fetching challenge.
Then Ibrehem, a Muslim, will tell the camera that Allah akbarred his ass last week and saved him from getting the boot. It's a God thang- only his God is that Allah guy and James is a Jesus fan, I betcha.
Then a typhoon threatens and Janu gets to have a slight breakdown, exacerbated by the camera lens up her nose. Nothing to see here folks, it's all smoke and no fire, move on.
Reward challenge goes to Koror. They can afford to toy with Ulong and make them think they'll win the Immunity challenge. But Koror will win that again, too.
Why? Because Ulong sucks harder than...oh right, you already heard that one.

And although Ibe deserves to get his ass kicked off- those grimy wet boxer briefs that display James's family rhinestones all too clearly, combined with a face that looks like he's been sniffing dirty kitty litter, will get James the final boot.
Allah Akbar, baby!

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