Thursday, April 23, 2009

It's Not in the Cards

Last year I jumped aboard the corporate HabitTrail with the rest of the hamsters and tried my best to play the part. Business suits, a brief case and an office in the spiffy glass office tower were part of the scene, and so was observing a cokehead, manic CEO, an inept CFO and a band of "executives" that had no executive experience.
They ended up sqandering almost a million dollars of investor money within six months, and I left that clown car with them owing me more than $11,000 in back pay.
Fortunately, I had also made a good friend there, a brilliant guy whom I liked at first sight. The feeling was mutual. We were soul mates.
When we left, we decided to take their idea and run with it.
He, his wife and I were going to make a new start of it and do it right this time-without the fancy office and shtick we couldn't afford; our clients would foot the bill for anything we acquired, and we wouldn't seek investors because we didn't believe in risking other peoples' money on our dreams.
I really like these people. They are smart, they have class and they get me.
But going in as a partner with a married couple is a lot like having a menage a trois with a married couple--someone always ends up odd-person-out and issues ensue.
Damn it, I'm a writer, not a business entrepreneur.
Writing is what I do best, and I love the solitary nature of it.
I hate meetings, I hate negotiations, I hate having to dress up and I hate consensus building in a two-against-one scenario, even when the other two are nice people.
I like people telling me what they want me to write, then I do it and get paid for it. One, two, three.
So, today I plan to meet with my partners and tell them I want a corporate divorce.
Once again, I find myself throwing caution to the wind and willing to leap into the void of the financial uncertainty that freelancing brings.
I've freelanced as a writer before, once for a 10-year stretch. I did okay.
I've always said that making a difficult decision is like sailing the open seas.
You struggle with the sails and the currents, then eventually you get into a groove and the boat starts to slice through the water like a knife through warm butter.
I can always tell when I've made the right decision because a calm washes over me.
Gone are the stress and the worrying and the dry cleaning bills.
I'm a lousy entrepreneur, but I'm a damn good journalist and writer.
So that's what I'll do.
And here's the song that buzzing through my head right now. Enjoy.


Dr. Monkey said...

Best of luck sweetie.

Rastamick61 said...

If teaching disturbed teens wasn't such a rich source of material I would hope I had the stones to make the leap. Yesterday a kid said without irony "Haa ! i only said ugly motherfuck I didn't put the -er at the end of it so you got nothing on me now..." How could I leave this behind ? And of course he was talking about an attractive 20 something female colleague not me! Write your book I'll buy a box of them when my tax return posts. Best wishes, you don't need any luck.

Dusty said...

Good for you..follow your heart and soul sista!

The Corporate life isn't easy for some of us..its too much bullshittery and too little gratification if you ask me..but you didn't. ;p

bigsis said...

I'm glad to hear you're going to be true to yourself Zip. The suits and all were very nice but it was like seeing a wild stallion harnessed up to plow the fields. It went against nature.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Wild stallion?
Nah, I'm more like an old mare who rubbed against the fence until the saddle fell off.

Lisa said...

I think this is going to be good. Doesn't it feel good to follow your instincts? May many good, interesting jobs come your way.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Thanks, Lisa.
Out of the blue this morning my old boss and PR mentor called me from Dallas and said she was starting her own PR firm and asked me if I had any time to freelance for her.

Fran said...

Good for you! New doors are already opening.
Ha! I am stuck in a job where the longer I stay, the "behinder" I get. They pay me.... but it is very low pay, and extras like higher co-pays & now I pay an additional 20% of the medical bills, rathe than 100% paid after co-pay kind of stuff that makes me realize
I am actually in a more negative cash flow situation.
But hell- the common response is * you are lucky to have a job these days*.
Yes I have a roof over my head & health insurance.....
but it is feeling more & more like scraping by.