Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Last Word on Waterboarding



Attention: All right-wing lunatics, Bush apologists and media bullshitters who insist that waterboarding is not torture.
I say it is.
Millions say it is.
The law says it is. Get this:
When a Texas Sheriff and his goons once waterboarded a prisoner, they were all arrested, convicted and sentenced to jail terms. Governor George W. Bush didn't do shit to intervene in their convictions or sentencing.
It's against the law, it's against the Geneva Conventions and it's torture. Get it?
What? You disagree? Okay then...
I, Karen Zipdrive, hereby volunteer to waterboard anyone who claims it is not torture.
Afterwards, if you still believe it's not torture, you can have a guest blog here at Pulp Friction and write about anything you want. We can even turn off the comments so you don't have to face criticism.
So how about it, Fox News and all GOP legislators?
Are you willing to let me pour water over your face until you feel like you're drowning to death? Are you willing to risk a lil' oopsie and actually drown to death?
Contact me and let's make arrangements for your personal waterboarding.
We can even videotape it for the blog.

10 comments:

Karen Zipdrive said...

Keith Olbermann offered that idiot Sean Hannity $1,000 for every minute he was waterboarded.
Then Lawrence O'Donnell said Cheney and Hannity and other assholes are soft and would break under torture, so that's why they think it works on Muslim radical prisoners.
They never stop to think anyone would ever die for a cause, because they sure as Hell wouldn't.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Correction: Olbermann offered Hannity $1,000 for every second, not minute.
Now there's a bet he'll never have to pay.

nonnie9999 said...

did you see deadeye dick's daughter today? i think the fucking bitch thinks she and her family are royalty.

her argument was that waterboarding can't be torture, because we have waterboarded our own troops (in training exercises), and we wouldn't torture our own troops! honestly, it's a wonder their heads don't explode.

Karen Zipdrive said...

She's got no horses in this race so she needs to shut her yap. With Dick as her father, you'd think she'd be ashamed to show her face on TV.
Where's her dyke sister on all this?

HelenWheels said...

To be fair, Manatee would have to be waterboarded 183 times before it would be anywhere close to what Kalid experienced. He wouldn't last more than a few seconds before the screaming started.

A World Quite Mad said...

I keep saying we need to get a charity drive together. We need to get people pledging for charity to waterboard these bastards. We could raise a lot of money for a good cause. And televise it... like a telethon! Hehe...

Karen Zipdrive said...

Amen.
If they had waterboarding neocons on Pay Per View, I'd not only pay $50-$100 to watch it, I'd host a party.
Imagine the cast:
Limbaugh
Cheney
Hannity
Colter
Bush
Alberto
Rumsfeld
Rice
Beck
Noonan
Canter
Boehmer
Bybee
Yoo

Wow. Make that $500 I'd pay to watch those clowns getting waterboarded, then listening to them gasp and say say it was no big deal afterwards.
Throw in those idiot Cheney daughters, too. And Sarah Palin, just to add to the excitement.

Lulu Maude said...

We were discussing this last night at dinner. A friend told me that some reporter volunteered to undergo the experience with the understanding that whenever he felt endangered, he could opt out.

He lasted 20 seconds, so frightening was the experience, even though he knew that he wasn't there against his will, that he was safe. "I really thought I was going to die," he said.

Fran said...

Oh! You forgot McCain-- he reversed his stance on torture remember?

This photo makes waterboarding look like a baptism-- pouring water on the forehead-- when the henchmen do it the water is poured over the nose & mouth areas, causing a gasping for air sensation right?

I would think when they clear out the innocents being held @ Gitmo, there will be plenty of room for your list of war criminals to hold them as prisoners in a facility Cheney spoke so highly of.

I think he said they were "lucky" to be there.

Distributorcap said...

i would love to watch sarah palin waterboarded. maybe Putin will fly over and rescue her