Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Alabama) Questions Sonia Sotomayor



JS: Good Mornin.'
SS: Good morning, Senator Sessions.
JS: Uhh, Justice Soniamayor, bein' a Mexican and all, if you get confirmed what'll keep ya from openin' the Mexican border and lettin' in all your tias and tios and cousins and whatnot?
SS: Well Senator, I am a Judge who's hoping to be confirmed as a Justice, and I'm Puerto Rican, so I have no relatives from Mexico. But if I were of Mexican descent, I would still uphold the immigration laws as written.
JS: Aight then, what would stop you from openin' the Puerto Rico border and lettin' in all your kinfolk?
SS: If there were a border between Puerto Rico and the United States, I would still uphold existing immigration laws.
JS: Are you plannin' to confiscate everbody's guns and weapons?
SS: Sir, Justices do not make law, so even if I had such plans to confiscate weapons I would not have the power to do so.
JS: So you're sayin' if you could, you would.
SS: No sir, I have never contemplated such an action because a Jurist does not have the power to make law.
JS: Jurist? Are you confusin' bein' a judge with bein' on jury duty?
SS: No sir, a Jurist is a synonym for Judge.
JS: Yeah, I know that awready, but what's this about a synonym, are you sayin' you're Jewish in addition to bein' Mexican?
SS: No sir, I am Christian.
JS: You bein' a Yankee and all, what're your views on the confederate flag?
SS: Well, I have mixed feelings. For some, the confederate flag is part of their Southern heritage, yet for others it symbolizes oppression. But again, Justices do not make laws, so my feelings about the confederate flag are moot.
JS: You just said what you think, so how can that be mute?
SS: I said moot, sir.
JS: Well, no matter how you pronunciate the word, if you said it then you ain't mute.
SS: All right.
JS: Now let's just cut to the chase, okay? You said a wise Latina woman was smarter and better then white guys, right?
SS: No sir, I said a Latina woman with wisdom would bring a fresh perspective to the bench, and in some cases that perspective might result in a wiser verdict.
JS: So you're sayin' you think a Latina woman makes better decisions.
SS: No sir, I'm saying...
JS: Never you mind, I think we all git it.
SS: Thank you, Senator.
JS: When did you stop being prejudiced against all white people?
SS: Stop? I never started.
JS: So you haven't stopped?
SS: No sir, I am not prejudiced against any segment of the population.
JS: Well, Miss Soniamayor, I read up on all your past statements and I gotta say I ain't convinced you can be impartial to people who ain't Mexicans like you.
SS: Sir, I have done my best to explain the nuances of my statements.
JS: So you're sayin' me askin' you to explain your racist statements is a nuisance?
SS: I said nuances, not nuisance.
JS: Okay, well, your partial and racist statements are on the record, so you can paint a horse yeller but it still ain't a taxi cab.
SS: Sir, I have done my best to explain the intentions I had behind my statements, but of course you are free to interpret them as you see fit.
JS: Well, thank you very much for your permission.
SS: I did not mean to imply that...
JS: The Ritchie case tells me that you think negro firemen should get special treatment.
SS: Not at all, sir, I merely applied the law as I understood it, as did the majority of my fellow jurists.
JS: Yeah, right. Why have a whole passel of your decisions been overturned by the Supreme Court?
SS: I believe when a case is presented to the Supreme Court, when the Court agrees with the lower court's verdict, they are less likely to accept the case for review. Therefore, when they accept a case, they are more likely to have dissenting opinions.
JS: Well, that's just a big pile of gobbledygook, innit?
SS: Pardon me?
JS: Pardon you? Why, did you burp up your chimichangas from breakfast?
SS: What?
JS: Oh, so now you're deaf and mute?
SS: Sir, I find this line of questioning quite...
JS: Yeah, well, I think we got a real clear pitcher of what your game is, Justice Soniamayor. I gotta say, I'd rather vote for a barrow hog painted in rainbow stripes and chewin' tobacca then vote for a racist Mexican lady who hates white men and all fire fighters.
SS: Sir, I must protest.
JS: Yeah, I betcha you do. Your people love them protest marches. Anyhoo, I really appreciate this opportunity to expose your prejudices. I'm outta here. Adios!
SS: Chinga tu madre.
JS: What's that mean? I don't speak Mexican.
SS: It means, "thank you for your thoughtful questions."
JS: You're welcome, young lady.

16 comments:

Dusty said...

Another good line from SS to JS would of been:

Besa me culo bendejo!

Forgive the spelling.

Dusty said...

Sweet fucking Jaysus..someone duct tape Jeffy's piehole..please!!!!

bigsis said...

Brillian Zip, I'll bet O'Dowd will be copying that one before the day is over.

nonnie9999 said...

too funny! at least he didn't call her senorita.

did you see the part when he invoked the name of another judge and said that he agrees with her judicial philosophy, and then sotomayor said that the judge is in the audience and is her good friend? little jeffy beauregard sessions is making such a fool of himself. so much fun to watch!

karenzipdrive said...

Dusty: LOL
Sis: Yeah I left out the profanity so MoDow won't have to waste any time editing.
Nonnie: I did see that and I was howling. The only thing it lacked was Sonia's buddy (the other judge) standing up and yelling at JeffBo, "Oh no you DIH-n't!"

Fran said...

And so it goes..... what a flipping circus~ complete with elephants.

Lulu Maude said...

I can't bear to watch or listen to these idiots and their bloviating. I still haven't gotten over the Clarence Thomas hearings (and don't care that Arlen Specter is a Democrat)... a media event I'd best skip.

bigsis said...

I just heard Cornyn choke trying to pay Sotomayer a crappy compliment. Then he went on to say his fear is that the decisions she made on the court of appeals were safe because there was a higher court to review her. But as a SCJ she's free to make any decision she wants and there isn't a higher court to review her decision. Like we're too stupid to know there are 8 other justices that have the power to stop their brethren if one should go haywire on a decision.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Why are they bothering with all this? She's got the votes from the Democrats on the committee.
Besides, this isn't a test of her being a judge, she's having to use her lawyer skills to repel these GOP imbeciles.

Dusty said...

These assholes are either deaf or friggin retarded..they keep rehashing the same ole shit with her.

She has the patience of a saint with these idiots who have an IQ of a gnat.

bigsis said...

Good question, why are they dickin' around with her when she's for sure going to be confirmed? Maybe they're just showing off to their redneck constituents?

Does anyone know how many more days we have to endure witnessing the enhanced interrogation of this poor woman? Seriously, let the R's get out the rags and bucket of water and finish up this torture.

KarenZipdrive said...

No shit, Sis!
I think the phrase "wise Latina woman" gives these GOP crackers a hard-on judging by how often they mention it.
I wish Sonia would say, "Jesus, you stupid cracker, how many more times do I need to explain it? Don't you wanna know about my judicial decisions, you pandering to-your-ignorant-base bastard?

dguzman said...

"Maybe they're just showing off to their redneck constituents?"

I think Big Sis hit the nail on the head. Of course, even the rednecks might be smart enough to see this crap and figure out how incredibly stupid these repugs are.

Anonymous said...

CLASSIC!!!

Distributorcap said...

that was one of your best..

and the fact sessions didnt get a judgeship because of his KKK jokes....

they barely asked her about her cases - all they cared about was pushign their racist agenda.

it was disgusting.

and great pic of sessions!

HelenWheels said...

Wow, Karen, that is a thing of beauty. Well done, you nailed Sessions! HIlarious!

So, Dowd is stealing from you these days? Well, at least the woman has good taste.