Friday, July 31, 2009

Gay Rick Perry

Those of you outside Texas may think of Texas Governor Rick Perry as the clown who said Texas may reserve its right to secede from the nation because of Obama's bail-out plan.
We in Texas think of him instead as the closeted gay butch bottom who was rumored to have been caught by his wife Anita in bed with a dude.
Now, get this--Republican Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison is running against Gay Rick for Governor.
Hutchison, whose huge balls would likely make Perry's anal sphincter twitch in appreciation, has been caught in a website mini scandal.
Seems her webmaster included search terms about Perry which included two or three "Rick Perry Gay" references.
Way to Go, Kaybee!
Is it wrong to out a closeted gay man?
Not when it's a man in power who consistently speaks and acts out against gay marriage and other civil rights.
Nope, Gay Rick has damaged gay rights because he's a self-loathing, closeted prick who puts his psychological fuckeduppedness ahead of all others.
I'm no fan of Kay Bailey, but getting her out of the U.S. Senate and putting her in the governor's chair while putting Rick the Prick out to pasture is not the worst thing that could happen to Texas.
Not to mention the fact that Kay Bailey with her hackles up and Rick the Shrill Bitch Queen clawing at each others' faces will make fantastic political comedy.
Are you listening, Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews?

Anyway, Google users, here are some great new search terms:
Gay Rick Perry
Is Rick Perry Gay?
Governor Perry is so gay!
Queen Rick Perry
Rick Homo Perry
Rick Perry caught in bed with male
Perry Loves Cock
Gay Texans for Perry
Perry the Fairy
Perry a hairdresser?
Perry a Total Hairdresser


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...


nonnie9999 said...

how do the numbers look for kbh? can she beat gov goodhair in a primary or will all the extreme wingnuts come out en masse to make sure she loses?

p.s. perry a total hairdresser made me laugh out loud! i don't know why that struck me as so funny.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Some definitely right-wing polls (like Rasmussen) say Perry is ahead, but Hutchison is not lacking for wingnut right-wing fans.
Once she quits the Senate in the fall, you can expect her to land on Perry's back with her talons fully extended.
Also, her campaign war chest has more money in it, and money talks.

bigsis said...

Like Perry can't be disgusting enough, now Sarah Palin is coming to Texas to help him raise campaign money.
Maybe they can get mannies and peddies together and discuss serious issues like whether Texas is bigger than Alaska if all the ice was melted.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I'm sure the only reason Perry invited Palin in was in hopes that she'd bring Todd Palin with her.
Rick the Prick isn't about to spend any time with SP getting beauty treatments--I doubt he even slightly likes women.
He'll probably want some alone time with Todd, discuss secession and all.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Hey Matty, I deleted that reference you mentioned, so I deleted your comment so's not to confuse anyone.
Good suggestion.

Dusty said...

Sweet-friggin-jaysus-in-a-speedo KZ, this is marvelous!

After Countdown I will google some of those phrases.. ;p

Karen Zipdrive said...

The Hutchison-Perry battle will be the best bitchfest in political history.
She will torture him like a python wrapped around a baby bunny.
I love how she threw down the gauntlet by kicking the door off his closet before she even left the Senate.

Matty Boy said...

Thank you, kz, you know how I love the Princess.

Even though I'm not gay and I never have been gay.

I'm just like Larry Craig, except that I'm telling the truth!

Karen Zipdrive said...

No problemo, Matty Boy.

Iain said...

KBH...I don't know of her at all, but given her political tendencies, I'm guessing that the tactics you've highlighted are not the start of a worthy, anti-hypocrisy campaign?

nonnie9999 said...

you're assuming that princess sarah will show up. she just cancelled on her planned speech at the st. ronnie liberry.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Iain, KBH is a typical female Texas Republican--bleached blonde, former cheerleader, with a stick up her ass and her hands filled with Big Bidness contributions.
Given that Perry's a notorious bastard, she's just as much of a bitch.
This Gov's race is gonna be FANTASTIC political theater.

bigsis said...

Gay Rick was a "Yell Leader" at A&M here in Texas, complete with a totally white outfit from head to toe. Kay was a UT cheerleader.

Gay Rick adamantly refused to accept the feds $555million stim money for unemployment benefits
(he said it had "strings' - turns out it didn't) and now Texas is having to borrow $2billion to pay for unemployment benefits.

Kay's already started some filthy political antics.

I'm laying in some extra popcorn and cokes and sitting in the front row waiting for the best politics EVER.

Lulu Maude said...

No wonder Molly loved writing in Texas.

Distributorcap said...

someone needs to give rick some mascara lessons

any volunteers

and tell rick that jim mcgreevey is taken

bemused said...

True story! Rick flashed the little governor at a (male, very pretty) friend of mine in the middle of RunTex in 2004. It was only after this episode that I heard the "rumors"; not too long after moving vans were sighted at the mansion fueling those rumors that Perry was caught by Anita rolling around with his secretary of state, and she was trying very hard to move out. If all true, he has been very wily is keeping the lid on.

HelenWheels said...

Oh, KZD, you don't let a closeted butch-bottom get away with anything, do you?

He'd be all over Todd Palin like white on rice.

Ha ha ha ha haaaa!!!