Drugs

What the hell is going on with all these prescription drug ads on TV lately?
They don't even say what they are for, they just have a middle aged person or couple sort of walking through fields of clover, looking vaguely relieved.
I once tried asking my doctor for one of those drugs I saw on TV and she cross examined me as to why I thought I needed that particular drug.
I didn't know what to say, because I certainly didn't want to say because the woman on TV looked pleasantly buzzed.
We all know the major pharmaceutical companies have lobbyists out the ass, and that's why Bush has failed to keep his campaign promises about affordable prescription prices for the elderly. He is their bitch.
If I owned a big pharmaceutical company, I'd get my lobbyist to push the FDA to remove those legally required side effect warnings on the TV ad voice-overs.
I mean, if I was tempted to try a prescription drug, a warning about the potential for anal leakage would be totally off-putting.
I don't care if a drug caused weight loss, elation, thicker, shinier hair and flat abs, if it caused me even a tiny drop of anal leakage, I'd skip it.
What's more, if I was on a date with the smartest, most beautiful woman on earth and she had even a scintilla of a hint of anal leakage, I'd lam it outta there in a heartbeat.
It's the term. It's too descriptive.
Can't they call it something more fun, like squirtybutt?