Thursday, February 20, 2003

Woo! How Delightfully Bitchy!

I was right-Janet was ousted for her general malaise and alleged granola bar smuggling.
But my oh my, were those ladies sharpening their claws tonight!
Since the men weren't featured much beyond the immunity challenge, I will now offer a breakdown on the women, definitely the more lethal of this series.
• Jenna Morasca, Pittsburgh, 21, Swimsuit model, Single, Zeta crown as a luxury item (?)
BITCH! She's mean to the hearing impaired girl, for chrissakes. And a swimsuit model-in Pittsburgh? Big whoop. I'd like to buy her for what she's worth and sell her for what she thinks she's worth.
• Shawna Mitchell, Redwood City, CA, 23, Retail clothing saleswoman, Single, Luxury Item: Soccer ball. Red curls and terminal perkiness. She'll fly under the radar for a while.
• JoAnna Ward, Orangesburg, SC, 31, Guidance counselor, Single, luxury item: Picture of her mother. Hoo Law! Lordy, Lordy, He is the Savior! Don't be putting that immunity icon in here, he be the devil! And you Ms Deaf Chile, don't be gettin' up in MY face, talk to the hand, the head don't understand, and hallelujah, AMEN! Now shut up or I'll knock you upside the head. Praise Jeee-zus!!
• Heidi Strobel, Eldon, MO, 24, Physical education teacher, Single, Luxury Item: Guitar and songbook. Gym teachers never looked like this in my day. She's an early leader, corn fed, hard working, earnest, diplomatic, bland. Tina meets Elizabeth meets Neleh, by heck!
• Christy Smith, Basalt, CO, 24, Children's adventure guide for the deaf, Single, Luxury Item: Sage. The hearing impaired cutie tends to whine a bit because she feels left out, which she often is. She's pretty outdoorsy though, so she may hang around a while, as long as she finds at least one ally among the popular girls. Natural enemy: Jenna.
• Jeanne Hebert, North Attleboro, MA, 41, director of marketing, married, luxury item: Massage oil. Hard boiled Massachusetts broad, like that truckdriver chick from episode one, except with a little college behind her. She could go either way but she's liable to flip out, so she'll be fun to watch.
• Deena Bennett, Riverside, CA, 36, deputy district attorney, married, luxury item: water balloons. Still a dyke if you ask me, but not so bossy this time. She wanted to throttle Christy but she "was too far above" fisticuffs. Smug.
• Janet. Who cares, she's outta there.

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