The Lesbian Bar(f)

Last night la and I went out to a lesbian bar for a reunion of old dykes I used to drink with in the 80's. My sister talked me into going, saying she, her partner and another fun lesbian from Austin would be attending.
They did not show up.
Anyway, I think the word abysmal best describes our experience.
Besides the cloud of smoke and the herd of dykes gathered around the TV watching the Spurs lose to the Nets, the music was mostly country.
I lost a $20 bill somewhere in the shuffle. Always a bad omen.
Then they had this absurd contest where we wore little ribbons around our neck and lost them if we answered no to anyone's question. Some bitch asked me if my name was David. She got one of my ribbons, but I got it back by asking if I'd ever fucked her before.
We holed out in the billiards room, having a perfectly pleasant time shooting 8-ball, until some troglodyte put some quarters down and challenged the winner to a game. I won and told troggy she and her unsavory companion could have the table.
We wanted to dance but the music was not danceable.
There was nobody there whose phone number I had or whom I'd ever dated.
The manager of Taco Cabana, who gifted Melly and me that pile of coupons last week was there. She was one of the cuter ones, and she is decidedly uncute.
We left after a few miserable hours.
My g/f summed up the whole experience: "That was an unsightly crowd, Karen."
She's a wise woman.