On Being an Asshole
Day before yesterday I was shell-shocked because I got dumped.
Instead of sitting with the emotions and working through the anger and hurt privately, I Blogged.
Instead of Blogging about the incredible loss and the pain I felt in losing a good woman, I sniped. Now I feel like an ass because of it.
Truth is, as much as we loved each other, la was going through a myriad of personal anguish. Her 13-year marriage had failed, she was concerned about her kids' emotional reaction to the change, her ex husband had moved 200 miles away, and she simply had too much on her plate to be fully engaged in a new relationship- even if it was a happy one.
Anyway, I am a grown woman who should have kept my initial "hell hath no fury like a scorned woman" bullshit to myself. I have also learned a lesson about how futile it is to use bravado and humor to cover the pain and sadness of loss.
Truth be told, la is a good, decent, honorable woman who tried her best to juggle all that was on her plate in addition to a high maintenance girlfriend. Something had to give and that something was our relationship.
If I could publicly humiliate her then, I am woman enough to publicly apologize now.
I am sorry. I was wrong.